Dr. Stitch


(This picture is one of Stephen Gammell’s illustrations from “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark,” and I’m probably breaking some kind of rule by using it here, but it’s just too good to pass up.)

From a distance, Dr. Stitch looks like a creepy kids’ show host, clad in a red-and-white striped jumpsuit, a real bundle of energy. However, upon closer inspection, you’d notice that his skin, which is the consistency of an old burlap sack, is crisscrossed with what appear to be surgical scars and ragged black stitches. He’s actually more stich than flesh at this point. Finally, the thing that, like the sun, you never want to stare directly at but end up doing anyway, is his face. He has big, pupil-less puppy dog eyes, and his face looks like someone gave him the Pan’s Labyrinth treatment on both sides, but each of the ragged slashes on either side of his mouth have been stitched shut. However, the stitching job isn’t great, and as he talks, you can clearly see little gaps between the stitches that open and close with each syllable.


They say he’s crazy, and rightly so
World domination is the mission of StitchCo
So just keep smiling and play it smart
If you make him angry you’ll be torn apart.

And we can stitch this dream together
Stitching strong forever
Nothing’s gonna stitch us now
And if we dare complain about it
We’ll get the Time-Out Pit
Nothing’s gonna stitch us
Nothing’s gonna stitch us now.

Dr. Stitch

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