Mook to Mastermind
Tomb of the Unknown Mooks
This is the place where we immortalize all the mooks who have fallen in the line of duty.
#86, on July 5th, 2013, was shot in the chest by a Magic Cop. May he chest… err… rest in peace.
#110, on July 5th, 2013, found that looking wide-eyed and murmuring “aw, hell” is a bad reaction to finding a bomb.
#112, on May 30, 2013, was shot in the head by a spy. His homemade cranberry tarts will be missed.
#272, on May 30, 2013, had his throat slashed by a ninja. No more slash fanfiction for him.
#173, on July 5th, 2013, was cursed by a magic cop, accidentally shot his own foot off, and broke his neck on the stairs.
#267, on July 5th, 2013, had his head blown off by a techie’s pipebomb. Retirement for him is a pipe dream, now.
#470, on July 5th, 2013, was reduced to a fine mist by a bomb. It makes me misty-eyed to think about it.
#554, on July 5th, 2013, was shot between the eyes by a techie. Nobody knew what it was like, behind his blue eyes.
#613, on July 5th, 2013, had his life cut into pieces, shielding himself from a bomb’s explosion with a pillow was his last resort.
#678, on July 5th, 2013, was shot in the face by a magic cop, and now he must face the afterlife.
#761, on July 5th, 2013, had a vial of acid thrown in his face by a techie and crashed through a window to his death.
#856, on July 5th, 2013, was shot repeatedly in cold blood by a magic cop, and now he’s as cold as the grave.
#876, on July 5th, 2013, professed his undying love for #897 before being blown up by a bomb. May they be together in eternity.
#897, on July 5th, 2013, was totally weirded out by #876’s come-ons just before being blown up. I mean, give him some time to think about it, man. He didn’t really know you all that well.
#903, on July 5th, 2013, was cursed by a magic cop and his gun blew up in his hand. Now he’ll blow up the dance floor… in Hell.
#909, on July 5th, 2013, tried to cut the green wire instead of the red one, which you must never, EVER do.
#960, on July 5th, 2013, was crushed by a chunk of falling ceiling. Guess the glass ceiling must have hit him.