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[6/23/2013 10:17:57 AM] Scurvyj: Anyway, I’m serious about the play-by-post game. We’ll can everything right here on the chat. Everyone will start as a nameless minion of an evil criminal mastermind, and character generation will happen as we go. Who’s in?
[6/23/2013 10:18:07 AM] Scurvyj: can post everything
[6/23/2013 10:55:26 AM] OhFoxy: Absolutely.
[6/23/2013 11:00:38 AM] Scurvyj: Okay, OhFoxy, your character’s randomly generated minion number is #087
[6/23/2013 11:02:34 AM] Scurvyj: I’ll start narrating when I get 3 players, btw, though people are welcome to join after that point
[6/23/2013 11:12:54 AM] Boozlebub: #865. Call me Rookiee.
[6/23/2013 11:13:04 AM] Boozlebub: Well, not quite rookiee, but yeah. I suck.
[6/23/2013 11:13:42 AM] Scurvyj: You don’t get to call yourself anything at this point; names are strictly forbidden in the Compound
[6/23/2013 11:14:08 AM] Scurvyj: Though yes, technically #087 DOES outrank you, but that’s like saying a fly outranks a gnat
[6/23/2013 11:14:28 AM] Boozlebub: Oh, I know. It’s more an OOC slam at my dude.
[6/23/2013 11:14:51 AM] Scurvyj: (I know, just trying to get you guys in the mode for the soul-crushing oppression you’ll be dealing with in a moment)
[6/24/2013 1:18:33 AM] DrRobertson: #347 reporting in
[6/24/2013 1:18:49 AM] DrRobertson: though I actually don’t say that, becuase I will be stabbed in the face for talking when not told to
[6/24/2013 1:24:44 AM] Boozlebub: 865 is looking around the briefing area, notably twitchy and stricken by a near perpetual rabbit like terror, but seems to calm some seeing another hench getting ready for the operation. He knows that The Doc does not like waiting too long…
[6/24/2013 1:26:14 AM] DrRobertson: [I thoink we should post in these for OOC stuff. I was hoping our boss would be a Lich, just so he’s awkward as fuck, and henchmen often die from malnutrition because he doesn’t eat food, etc.]
[6/24/2013 1:26:41 AM] DrRobertson: [actually, the malnutrition fits either way. We’re pretty expendable]
[6/24/2013 1:29:08 AM] Boozlebub: [Good call. And yeah, the malnutritioun fits because we ARE expendable. I actually rolled my 3d10 multiple times to get as high of a number as I could]
[6/24/2013 1:29:37 AM] DrRobertson: I just chose ar random!
[6/24/2013 6:41:34 AM] Scurvyj: Alright, then. Let’s get this show on the road. Other people can jump in if they want; of course the sooner, the better
[6/24/2013 6:41:38 AM | Edited 6:41:46 AM] Scurvyj: You’re all mooks in the employ of the infamous criminal mastermind, Doctor Stitch. All in all, it beats unemployment, but damned if the guy doesn’t run his operation like an evil kindergarten teacher, complete with star charts and trips to the Time-Out Pit.
[6/24/2013 6:42:53 AM] Scurvyj: You guys are in the lowest rung of employment for him, the Caring Corps, colloquially referred to as ’Stich’s Bitches’ by even the unpaid interns (who at least have a future with this operation). Make no mistake about it—the only way it could be more obvious is if he stapled pieces of meat to your chests before sending you into the fray.
[6/24/2013 6:43:32 AM] Boozlebub: He told me that would keep the bad men away!
[6/24/2013 6:43:46 AM] Scurvyj: And why not? Y’all are barely able to jog for 30 seconds, have managed to slice off your own fingers with plastic butterknives, and still can’t read ‘Cat in the Hat’ without someone helping you with the hard words.
[6/24/2013 6:44:26 AM] Scurvyj: Anyway, you’re all standing around the briefing room, waiting for the good doctor to deliver the good news. Because it’s ALWAYS good news around the compound. ALWAYS. GOOD. NEWS. Got it?
[6/24/2013 6:44:35 AM] Scurvyj: Good. Now you guys can RP while I shower and get ready for work
[6/24/2013 6:52:12 AM] OhFoxy: #087 would be sitting there, holding a cup of coffee that was neither steaming, nor sipped, instead he would only occasionally bring it up to his nose to smell, while making shifty glances at his comrades.
[6/24/2013 6:53:42 AM] Boozlebub: #865 fidgets around some… Any loud noises make him jump to the side, occasionally muttering about “the badgers. They’re after me” while rubbing a blood bandaged up arm.
[6/24/2013 6:55:41 AM] DrRobertson: #347 is most certainly trying to be as inconspicuous as possible
[6/24/2013 6:56:33 AM] DrRobertson: I have a natural fear of being hit with stray attacks, often throw by those with authority over me
[6/24/2013 6:58:52 AM] Boozlebub: can’t… can
[6/24/2013 6:59:12 AM] Boozlebub: t dp bad… not again… can’t do bad again…
[6/24/2013 7:01:08 AM] DrRobertson: I move to shift myself away from the one muttering about badgers
[6/24/2013 7:02:06 AM] Boozlebub: 8… 865 wi…will do good… very good thi..this time Dr. Stitch.
[6/24/2013 7:04:53 AM] OhFoxy: I had badger problems once…ended up moving. Problem solved!
[6/24/2013 7:05:53 AM] OhFoxy: I read on this image board I go to that if you covered your door mats in honey, it’d deter them, turns out it attacts them, and then they get stuck to the mat.
[6/24/2013 7:06:02 AM] OhFoxy: attracts*
[6/24/2013 7:06:18 AM] DrRobertson: I don’t lke problems… usually I’m told to fix them, and it involves razor blades
[6/24/2013 7:07:01 AM] OhFoxy: #087 thinks this is a brilliant idea, and should have used razors instead.
[6/24/2013 7:07:42 AM] Scurvyj: Something starts playing over the loudspeakers. It sounds like cheerful carnival music, but since the PA system is so old and poorly-maintained, the music has a washed-out old Hitchcock movie sound to it, which sends chills down your spines
[6/24/2013 7:08:16 AM] Boozlebub: 865 twitches more… Wincing subconsciously.
[6/24/2013 7:08:51 AM] Scurvyj: The fog machines start up, making the lot of you sputter and cough a bit, because you’re pretty sure some of that smoke is from mechanical failure. Silhouetted by the flashing lights reflected off the briefing room disco ball, in shambles the Boss, Dr. Stitch
[6/24/2013 7:09:36 AM] * OhFoxy sent Artist’s interpretation.mp3 *
[6/24/2013 7:09:49 AM] Boozlebub: 865 stands at immediate attention, trying to not pay attention to the wet spot that’s showing up around the crotch of his pants.
[6/24/2013 7:09:53 AM] OhFoxy: (Careful of the volume)
[6/24/2013 7:10:55 AM] Scurvyj: [OhFoxy, I’m laughing my ass off right now] From a distance, Dr. Stitch looks like a creepy kids’ show host, clad in a red-and-white striped jumpsuit, a real bundle of energy
[6/24/2013 7:11:07 AM] DrRobertson: I think I’ll be investing in bleach and razor blades next time I’m out
[6/24/2013 7:11:22 AM] Boozlebub: [Seriously, man. PERFECT]
[6/24/2013 7:11:59 AM] Scurvyj: However, upon closer inspection, you’d notice that his skin, which is the consistency of an old burlap sack, is crisscrossed with what appear to be surgical scars and ragged black stitches. He’s actually more stich than flesh at this point
[6/24/2013 7:12:26 AM] Boozlebub: 865 stands perfectly still, a rictus smile on his face with pure, unadulterated fear in his eyes, but still big ol’ toothy smile.
[6/24/2013 7:12:47 AM] OhFoxy: #87 makes an effort to move his cup of coffee towards the soiled one, half-whispering. “Just in case you wanna do a cover up…you know…the smell.” He raises his eyebrows and leans back, attention towards the monst-boss.
[6/24/2013 7:13:11 AM] DrRobertson: [I’m going to be busy for a few guys]
[6/24/2013 7:13:22 AM] Scurvyj: Finally, the thing that, like the sun, you never want to stare directly at but end up doing anyway, is his face. He has big, pupil-less puppy dog eyes, and his face looks like someone gave him the Pan’s Labyrinth treatment on both sides of his face, but each of the ragged slashes on either side of his mouth have been stitched shut
[6/24/2013 7:14:01 AM] Scurvyj: However, the stitching job isn’t great, and as he talks, you can clearly see little gaps between the stitches that open and close with each syllable
[6/24/2013 7:15:03 AM] Scurvyj: [And sorry, as I too have to go to work, but feel free to make water cooler gossip about the boss until I get back on. Later guys!]
[6/24/2013 7:17:52 AM] OhFoxy: [All good, well worth the 10 minutes of intro]
[6/24/2013 7:43:02 AM] DrRobertson: [agreed]
[6/24/2013 7:43:29 AM] DrRobertson: 347 makes awkward noises, not wanting to draw attention ot himself, whilst at the same time not being able to conceal his fear and awe
[6/24/2013 7:44:04 AM] * Missed group call. *
[6/24/2013 7:44:22 AM] DrRobertson: [wrong group call, sorry]
[6/24/2013 7:47:13 AM] DrRobertson: “ughhh, I thought higher ups sually had good dental”
[6/24/2013 4:29:54 PM] Scurvyj: Higher-ups are actually the ONLY ones who get dental, but Dr. Stitch believes more in beauty on the INSIDE, which is a sugar-coated way of saying his hygiene and personal appearance are grotesque. It’s called Speed Stick, it’s not expensive.
[6/25/2013 6:15:51 AM] Scurvyj: “Gather ‘round, everybody! Ol’ Dr. Stitch is going to tell you a story. Do you like stories? This one’s called, ‘The No Men.’ Once upon a time, there was a good doctor. He was nice to everyone, and everybody loved him, especially his good friends in the Caring Corps. Sure, he may have sent some people to the Time Out Pit once in a while, like #865 over there, but it was only because he cared about them very much, and he ALWAYS kept a case of antivenom around just in case Mr. Pinchy-Stingy got a little out of hand. Sure, he may have been involved in some Fun Time Science activities that Big Brother Washington didn’t approve of, but he was only trying to help the world, and most of the people who were part of Fun Time Science were bad people anyway, and if the AMA would just get it in their heads that they have NO RIGHT TO STICK THEIR NOSES INTO MY HUMAN EXPER—-”
[6/25/2013 6:17:17 AM] Boozlebub: 865 trembles at the mention of the Time Out Pit…
[6/25/2013 6:19:54 AM] DrRobertson: “Stop TREMBLING!!”
[6/25/2013 6:20:01 AM] Scurvyj: “Sorry, I got a little excited there. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Anyway, the good doctor made a lot of great things to help the world, in his busy little factories located all over Cityopolis. Stitchco made all sorts of wonderful things to help people, like clothes, toys, highly-addictive vitamin supplements, medicine, and so on. The workers at Stitchco, who, despite what some people say, are paid more than a fair salary for their work and are allowed to leave the premeses any time they want to, were the busiest, happiest people in Cityopolis.”
[6/25/2013 6:22:05 AM] Boozlebub: 865 snaps back into a deathlike rictus… Unmoving eyes… staring…
[6/25/2013 6:22:56 AM] Scurvyj: “However, there were some people who didn’t like the factories. They didn’t want people to get the new, fancy clothes that made them feel like kings and queens. They didn’t want the children to get the toys that would make them smile. They didn’t want the sports people to get their vitamins that would help them train and make the people cheer. They didn’t want the sick people to get the medicine that, though there might be some skin discoloration, extra limb growth, or violent murder spasms on the side, could help them feel better.”
[6/25/2013 6:23:58 AM] Scurvyj: Saying this, Dr. Stitch produces a piece of paper, covered with letters clipped from various newpapers, ransom note-style. What a fun little art project! The note reads as follows (knowing his audience, he reads it out loud, of course):
[6/25/2013 6:25:42 AM] Scurvyj: “Dr. Stitch, We’re done trying to reason with you. If you won’t make your factories safe or shut them down, we have no choice but to shut them down for you. Consider this your eviction notice. Sincerely, the Silver Dragons.”
[6/25/2013 6:26:47 AM] Boozlebub: 865 blinks, confused by this whole thing…
[6/25/2013 6:27:51 AM] Scurvyj: “Now, everybody, we’ve heard that the Silver Dragons are looking to pay us a visit, tonight, at all of our wonderful Stitchco factories in Cityopolis. Are we going to let them shut us down? ARE WE GOING TO LET THE CHILDREN GO WITHOUT THEIR TOYS? THE SICK PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR MEDICINE?”
[6/25/2013 6:28:21 AM] Boozlebub: No!
[6/25/2013 6:29:06 AM] Scurvyj: “I say we set up some welcome parties with these guys. I think it’s time we had a little… SITDOWN!”
[6/25/2013 6:29:44 AM] Boozlebub: 865 sits down immediately.
[6/25/2013 6:30:17 AM] Scurvyj: At this, people start chanting “SIT-DOWN! SIT-DOWN! SIT-DOWN!” and the crowd starts to become a little violent. Dr. Stitch raises his hand, which has a little memo pad marked “Time-Out Record” and everyone immediately stops.
[6/25/2013 6:31:44 AM] Scurvyj: “No, #865. (sigh) I didn’t say ‘sit down’. I mean, we’re going to have a little pow-wow with these Dragons. Now, I think it’s time for everyone to get their Pow-Wow Sticks (guns) from the Magic Make-Believe Store (armory).”
[6/25/2013 6:33:51 AM] Scurvyj: ""Now remember, Team Bravo is still planning their little suprise party for the Secretary of Defense, so most of the really BIG Pow-Wow Sticks have been taken. But I’m sure there’s still plenty of great things for us to have our own little party! Now remember to share, everyone!"
[6/25/2013 6:34:49 AM] Boozlebub: 865 stands back up perfectly still…
[6/25/2013 6:36:18 AM] Scurvyj: And with that, the big blast doors start buzzing and sliding open, the ones that lead to the various storage rooms that make up the Magic Make-Believe Store. The only one y’all are allowed clearance into is all the way in the back of the narrow, treacherously-lit hallway full of badly-maintained hot-water pipes and exposed electrical wiring. You’ve seen this kind of thing happen before, and you’re aware that the room, which currently has a couple hundred people or so inside, is about to get pretty tramply, so you might want to think about how you plan to make your way through the crowd.
[6/25/2013 6:37:14 AM] Boozlebub: 865’s going to just be standing still perfectly still. He’s a shellshocked from his time in the Time-Out Room.
[6/25/2013 6:37:18 AM] Scurvyj: [Right now, everyone is assumed to have BOD 4, REF 4, MND 4, and CHI 0. We’ll get to skills on the fly. Remember: you’re a nameless mook, and one successful hit at a plus 5 is enough to take you out. The only defense against this for now is total, unrelenting cowardice.]
[6/25/2013 6:38:04 AM] Scurvyj: [Depending on how you plan to make your way to the front of the line, and how successful you are, I’ll tell you what kind of weapons you might have access to.]
[6/25/2013 6:38:30 AM] Scurvyj: [If you sit in the back and wait until the end, the pickings will be very slim, so please be aware of this.]
[6/25/2013 6:39:44 AM] Boozlebub: [hmmm, toughie. While 865’s pretty much dumb as shit, he survived the Time Out Room, and I kinda like the little moron.]
[6/25/2013 6:40:45 AM] Scurvyj: Oh, by the way, pushing immediately to the front of the pack is none other than #003. He’s huge and hulking, standing about seven feet tall, maybe 320 lbs of pure muscle. He’s clearly one of Dr. Stitch’s favorite; rumor has it that the Dr. even calls him by a nickname when no one else is around, something like “Slippy” or “Slapper”, something like that. He’s flinging people aside like paper-mache dolls as he shoves his way to the front.
[6/25/2013 6:44:59 AM] Boozlebub: 865 sees #003, and decides to stay in the wake of #003, sticking a bit behind him to avoid his wrath. Remembering his time in the Time Out Room, and running off of the motivation to avoid it again…
[6/25/2013 6:45:43 AM] DrRobertson: 347 moves to do the same as 865. The path should be cleared for us, as long as we keep an okay distance
[6/25/2013 6:46:11 AM] DrRobertson: also, 347 has anger issues, and can’t stand dealing wITH THOSE FUCKWITS, THAT TAKE FOREVER TO GET PLACES, AND WALK SO FUCKING SLOW!!
[6/25/2013 6:46:19 AM] DrRobertson: [I’ll be back later, gents]
[6/25/2013 6:57:01 AM] Boozlebub: [My ma’s birthday – back after pizza and crap.]
[6/25/2013 7:02:06 AM] Scurvyj: [Right on. I’m about to go to work, so OhFoxy can work out his plan for #087. By the way, how do you guys want to handle dice rolling? Should I do it, or do you not mind the extra wait time for rolling stuff yourselves?]
[6/25/2013 7:28:28 AM] Boozlebub: [I’m gonna say it’s up to you, man. Oh, by the way, the birthday dealeyo kinda got postponed because of… well, likely tornado.
[6/25/2013 7:39:18 AM] OhFoxy: (I will post in roughly two hours once I am home)
[6/25/2013 7:39:43 AM] OhFoxy: (I don’t mind you rolling for me)
[6/25/2013 11:09:13 AM] DrRobertson: [I say we roll if we’re there. If not, then you roll Scurvyj, that way things get moving.]
[6/25/2013 11:10:01 AM] DrRobertson: [What I mean by that is, if Scurvyj declares he needs a roll, you’ve got maybe a minute, or whatever he decides, after that, he rolls for you. I think it’s fair, it also gets us that feeling when one rolls dice!]
[6/25/2013 12:03:09 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay then, how about this. I want everyone to give me an open Move roll; when I say open I mean one positive, one negative, reroll 6’s, and add your Move, which is 4 for everyone right now.]
[6/25/2013 12:03:42 PM] Scurvyj: [Anyone who doesn’t post their roll by the time I get back home in about 5 hours will have their roll made for them.]
[6/25/2013 12:04:04 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, sticking behind #003 was a good idea, so I’ll drop the difficulty of the task check a bit.]
[6/25/2013 12:30:23 PM] DrRobertson: [2. I fucking rolled the one for the positive, and stared at it for a good 5 seconds, then muttered “…fuck”]
[6/25/2013 12:37:05 PM] Scurvyj: #347, you feel something grab your ankle and pull, causing you to lose your balance and fall. Thankfully, you’re able to get up just in time to avoid getting run over by the mob, but you waste a lot of time getting your balance and whatnot
[6/25/2013 12:37:41 PM] Scurvyj: You look behind you and see the grim, sparsely-toothed face of #348. That Scurvyjk’s been riding your ass from day one, and his attempt at tripping you was probably yet another attempt at bumping you off so he could take your number. That, and he’s probably still pissed about that time you punched him in the sternum after he made that joke about your mom in the cafeteria (anger issues!)
[6/25/2013 12:40:47 PM] DrRobertson: “My dearest 348, if you wish to keep thoe sad excuses for teeth you have, I suggest it would be best if YOU CRAWLED BACk, OT THAT FUCKING HOLE YOU CAME OUT OF, AND FUCK RIGHT OFF!”
[6/25/2013 12:41:56 PM] DrRobertson: “I really don’t want to find out THAT YOU CHOKED TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN BLOOD AS IT SWELLED FROM YOUR GUMS, but I won’t lose sleep over it if it does happen”
[6/25/2013 12:44:49 PM] Scurvyj: #348 spits back, “Those cheap, low-grade weapons are MINE, pretty boy. Cheap and low-grade… LIKE YOUR MOM!”
[6/25/2013 1:11:44 PM] DrRobertson: [how far is he from me? I may consider taking a shot at him if he’s close enough]
[6/25/2013 3:14:38 PM] Scurvyj: [He’s right behind you, having just grabbed your foot and semi-successfully tripped you.]
[6/25/2013 3:29:25 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh, by the way, for future reference…]
[6/25/2013 3:29:27 PM | Removed 3:29:35 PM] Scurvyj: This message has been removed.
[6/25/2013 3:29:37 PM] Scurvyj: http://mooktomastermind.tumblr.com/087character
[6/25/2013 3:29:46 PM] Scurvyj: http://mooktomastermind.tumblr.com/347character
[6/25/2013 3:29:55 PM] Scurvyj: http://mooktomastermind.tumblr.com/865character
[6/25/2013 6:20:03 PM] Scurvyj: [Honey… I’m hooooome! #087 and #865, time for me to roll ‘dem bones for ya. #087 rolled +6, -2, reroll +2, so Move 4 + 6 = 10. #865 rolled +3, -1, for Move 4 + 2 = 6.]
[6/25/2013 6:33:13 PM] Scurvyj: #087, #003 tears into the lead, with you following right behind him, and bashes down the door with with a flying dropkick for maximum style points. He immediately scrambles around the room, grabbing a dizzying array of heavy pistols, automatic weapons, an assault rifle, and a couple of big combat knives. Everything is marked with Dr. Stitch’s logo, a picture of his unnerving face, the word “StitchCo” in simple Helvetica lettering, and the company slogan, “Your STITCH is our command!”
[6/25/2013 6:41:05 PM | Edited 6:43:16 PM] Scurvyj: #087, you see the usual array of Pow-Wow Sticks: some worn-out Beretta Model 21 Bobcats (8/1/8+1), a couple of battered Intratec Tec-22s (8/2/30+1), a few off-color Rossi Model 515 Revolvers (8/2/9), and their big brother, a cool Rossi Model 851 Revolver (9/2/6) that someone spray-painted lime green for some reason. You also notice a Ruger Red Label Shotgun (10/5/2) with a half-peeled giant Confederate flag sticker on the stock. As far as “personal care” weaponry, there are a couple of crates of low-grade aftermarket combat knives (Str+2), a wastebasket full of dented-up batons (Str 3), and a lone fire axe (Str4) that was leftover from last year’s Secret Santa (don’t ask—the Christmas parties around here can get pretty wild.)
[6/25/2013 6:42:46 PM] Scurvyj: Sadly, by the time #865 and #347 get here, only the Beretta 21’s, Rossi 515’s, knives, and batons remain, along with some tumbleweeds and sad music.
[6/25/2013 6:46:38 PM | Edited 6:46:46 PM] Scurvyj: [So anyway, I figure you can grab maybe two things before people start getting whiny and tattling on you for refusing to share. Also, there’s a strict policy on ammo at the compound: one clip/magazine per weapon (or 9 bullets for the 515, 6 for the 851, or a whopping 6 shells for the Red Label.) Fortunately, you’ve never found ammo to be a problem when the people around you start dropping like flies.]
[6/25/2013 6:48:44 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh, and choose wisely, gentlemen. You have about 10 hours until I get up tomorrow morning. #347, if you want to take a shot at that asshole, give me an Agility roll. Good day!]
[6/26/2013 12:56:22 AM] DrRobertson: [347 decides not to take a shot at him, he’s working on getting past that rage. He’ll grab the 515 Revolver and a combat knife.]
[6/26/2013 12:56:44 AM] DrRobertson: [Besides, 347 never liked his mother anyway!]
[6/26/2013 5:41:53 AM] Scurvyj: 348 shakes his fist at you and shouts something along the lines of “your MOM is a revolver!” (how’d he read your mind like that?), his voice fading into the distance as you disappear into the crowd. Your StitchCo-affiliated therapist would be proud.
[6/26/2013 7:21:11 AM] Boozlebub: [Sorry about the tardiness. Damn tornado knocking over power and internet horseshit]] 865 picks up the Model 21 Bobcat, holding it uncomfortably. He also finds the baton and holds it in his hand. Solid, dare he say… manly. He lets out a muffled “Eeeep!” of joy]
[6/26/2013 7:21:47 AM] Boozlebub: [There’s supposed to be more storms coming, so we’ll see if I get to cheat tornadoey death again.]
[6/26/2013 7:37:37 AM] Scurvyj: [Rise and shine, #087! I rolled 2 d8’s, and you got 7 both times, so your decide to go all Orchid from Killer Instinct and pick a pair of batons. You never really liked the ammo policy, anyway.]
[6/26/2013 7:49:10 AM] Scurvyj: You each pick up your respective weapons, and that rush of adrenaline kicks in, the one that got you hooked on this otherwise terrible job in the first place. Yeah, the pay sucks, the dental is laughable, and you’re stuck working weekends more often than not, but who cares? The thrill of battle, of being one knife wound or bullet hole away from oblivion, that makes it all worthwhile.
[6/26/2013 7:49:55 AM] OhFoxy: [Just got back[
[6/26/2013 7:50:03 AM] OhFoxy: [Had a band practice]
[6/26/2013 7:50:55 AM] Scurvyj: #347, you hoist the 515, which was probably manufactured in a sweatshop in Southeast Asia, feeling its weight in your hand, and lovingly slide a bullet into each of the six chambers, and you draw the combat knife, admiring its sharpness and wobbly craftsmanship.
[6/26/2013 7:51:10 AM] Scurvyj: [No problem, man. Hope you don’t have a serious problem with what’s been going down on here.]
[6/26/2013 7:51:20 AM] OhFoxy: [I have to read over it.]
[6/26/2013 7:51:25 AM] OhFoxy: [And/or get filled in]
[6/26/2013 7:51:44 AM] Scurvyj: [Reading is fundamental, so I’ll leave you to it! Besides, I should do work stuff in a minute.]
[6/26/2013 7:52:41 AM] OhFoxy: [Alright, once I’m out of the shower i’ll get caught up.]
[6/26/2013 7:53:48 AM] Boozlebub: [Nothing like a long bullet entering a well oiled chamber or whatever homoerotic horseshit Revolverr Ocelot said]
[6/26/2013 7:54:03 AM] OhFoxy: [Very close to what he said]
[6/26/2013 7:54:08 AM] Scurvyj: #865, though the Bobcat is small and light, about as flimsy as a gun can get, it makes you have fantasies about being an evil superspy, about whipping it out of some hidden compartment or pocket and blowing someone away when they least expect it. You also give the baton a few practice swings, mimicking it’s whooshing sounds by mouthing the words, “whoof whoof” like an 8-year old LARPer.
[6/26/2013 7:55:10 AM] Boozlebub: After 865 does his practice swings, he hops up and down with joy.
[6/26/2013 7:56:59 AM] Scurvyj: #087, you sneer at all the gun nuts, whipping the pair of batons around Escrima-style, remembering that first time they lined you all up on the shooting range, and when they screamed, “GO!” you jumped over the barrier and started pistol-whipping your range target, much to the surprise of your slack-jawed comrades. From that point on, they replaced your range time with extra CQC practice, probably more by their nervousness about you having a gun than anything.
[6/26/2013 7:58:55 AM] Scurvyj: [#347 and #865, you guys took the balanced approach, so I’m reasoning that you both took the crash courses in close combat and firearms that are standard for most mooks, which translates to a +1 Martial Arts and Guns. #087, since you’ve eschewed guns, you get a +2 Martial Arts, but no Guns. You can always pick it up later once we actually have XP to spend.]
[6/26/2013 7:59:54 AM] Boozlebub: 865 hangs his baton on his belt, or puts it into his pants, whatever, and claps a heartfelt round applause for 087’s awesome display!
[6/26/2013 8:00:48 AM] Boozlebub: That said, 865 may just still be a little loopy from blood loss from his last stay in the Time Out Room.
[6/26/2013 8:04:24 AM] Scurvyj: At this point, you all start filing into the StitchCo Welcome Wagons. As soon as you clear the sub-sub-parking garage, then the sub-parking garage, then the regular parking garage, you look carefully out the tiny, dirt-encrusted back windows back windows until the last surveillance camera is out of sight. With a wry smile, someone breaks out a handle of whiskey they somehow smuggled into the back of the truck, and the opening credits roll, interspersed with shots of the impromptu pre-combat celebration in the back of the troop transport. Also, since I feel like going all Pixar style by bringing back an old rock song for the parents who might be stuck in the audience with their kids, this is the opening credits music:
[6/26/2013 8:04:28 AM] Scurvyj: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1FRvwJP1pk
[6/26/2013 8:05:05 AM] Scurvyj: [Anyway, you guys can role-play up anything leading up to your arrival at your designated StitchCo factory. Remember that it’s Feng Shui, so just roll with it and have fun.]
[6/26/2013 8:06:23 AM] Boozlebub: [Is it Cousin Jeb’s Rootin’ Tootin’ Baby Makin’ Whiskey?]
[6/26/2013 8:10:15 AM] Scurvyj: [It is now.]
[6/26/2013 8:24:15 AM] OhFoxy: [There is another Rossi, correct?]
[6/26/2013 8:26:56 AM] OhFoxy: #87 is under the impression that there were two Rossi revolvers, and if that is the case, he will aquire one, as well as a tumbleweed as a secondary weapon. He would immediately take the Rossi, and without checking the chamber, or cylinder he would hold it by the barrel and smack it a few times against something solid. “Gotta check for blade play, mom taught me that.” he then spins it, which made it fall onto his tumbleweed, he flinches as if it were a grenade.
[6/26/2013 8:30:11 AM] OhFoxy: [If that post turns out to be impossible, let me know, I’ll redo.]
[6/26/2013 8:30:55 AM] Boozlebub: 865’s eyes get wide seeing the Cousin Jeb’s… “It’s… beautiful… It’s not… plastic!” 865 gets his StitchCo Collapsable Pill Cup – the kind provided to all of the minion for their Mandatory Voluntary Happy Pill Testing FOR SCIENCE AND FUN™ and waits for the group to fill a shot.
[6/26/2013 8:32:36 AM] Boozlebub: 865’s pill cup has a happy little painted teddy bear on crutches with a broken leg painted with the finest of lead based paints.
[6/26/2013 8:34:39 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright, #087, since you came in just in the nick of time, I’ll let you trade your Batons for a Rossi and a tumbleweed, your Martial Arts +2 for a Guns +2, and your pistol-whipping at the range for a “wow, he’s a pretty good shot! No wonder he was given a two-digit number!” The tumbleweed, if you actually use it, would work as an improvised weapon, something along the lines of a distraction attack but low-grade.]
[6/26/2013 8:35:24 AM] OhFoxy: [Plus it can be set afire.]
[6/26/2013 8:35:48 AM] Scurvyj: [Nice. I love where this game is going so far, seriously helps me get up in the morning.]
[6/26/2013 8:36:05 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright, there’s the bell. I’ll be on tonight, Taipei time, gents!]
[6/26/2013 8:36:24 AM] Boozlebub: [Awesome! Take care!]
[6/26/2013 8:36:57 AM] Scurvyj: #865, somebody pours you a shot, nearly overflowing your cup in the process, and some of the lead paint start disintegrating a little, causing the scotch to take on a slightly pasty consistency.
[6/26/2013 8:37:30 AM] Boozlebub: Ohhh, that makes it taste sweeter! Thanks man!
[6/26/2013 8:38:08 AM] Boozlebub: Not as sweet as the green Kool-Ade in the Motorpool, but still pretty sweet!
[6/26/2013 8:54:33 AM] OhFoxy: #87 takes his gun from atop his tumbleweed and tucks it away somewhere very unsafe by professional standards. Something like his front pocket with the safety off. He eyes up the bottle of scotch as it’s being poured, nodding approvingly.
[6/26/2013 9:31:54 AM] Scurvyj: [#087, do you want one of the 515’s for more ammo capacity, or the lone 851 for extra punch? Also, #347, I realize I made a typo; you slid a bullet into each of the NINE chambers. Shame on me.]
[6/26/2013 9:35:42 AM] Boozlebub: [Gretchen says “Pancakes, bitches!”]
[6/26/2013 9:36:16 AM] Scurvyj: [I wish I could say the same for you and your crew of flunkies.]
[6/26/2013 9:40:46 AM] Boozlebub: 865 slams the shot in one bracing swig. “Oooohhhh, tingly. That’s good stuff! …Why are we here?”
[6/26/2013 9:41:22 AM] Scurvyj: [BTW, I’m writing student comments right now, so I can kinda leave Skype on in the background and pop in and out when I need a breather.]
[6/26/2013 9:45:45 AM] Boozlebub: A slight tremble overcoms 865’s body, and there is a slight yelp…
[6/26/2013 9:47:39 AM] Scurvyj: Some of the people glance in your direction, #865, with “this guy is hopeless. Seriously.” looks on their faces. One guy starts to open his mouth like he’s about to tell you, but instead, grabs the handle of whiskey and pours a big glug into his Spongebob waterbottle, sighing as he does so.
[6/26/2013 9:51:00 AM] Boozlebub: Can I have some more? It’s tasty! Good, but kinda like a penny!
[6/26/2013 9:52:17 AM] Scurvyj: The handle slowly makes its way to you again. People are starting to get kinda rowdy, as the adrenaline mixed with booze start to blend into a delicious cocktail of aggression.
[6/26/2013 9:53:30 AM] Boozlebub: WOOOO! Spring Break!
[6/26/2013 9:54:09 AM] Scurvyj: The only thing keeping y’all from going COMPLETELY over the edge is that #003 is your commanding officer, and he’s riding in the passenger seat of the truck. The good news is that there’s a dividing wall with a little sliding panel (that only opens when he needs to tell someone to shut up), separating the two of you. The bad news is that he has a strict “don’t make me come back there” policy, so if the car ever stops suddenly, it means some head cracking is about to go down
[6/26/2013 9:56:45 AM] Scurvyj: Still, you could have done much worse for a commanding officer. #003 is a no-nonsense kind of guy, and he tends to hit more than talk, but there’s nobody you’d rather be standing behind when the lead starts to fly (and with his considerable size, he can provide cover for a lot of you). He totally belongs in Team Bravo, hell, he could probably RUN Team Bravo, but he has this thing where he actually cares if the people under him live or die. As you all well know, that’s not the kind of attitude that gets you ahead in this business
[6/26/2013 9:58:30 AM] Scurvyj: So, as it is, he’s like an abusive big brother for the Caring Corps, and though I wouldn’t say he has a heart of gold, at least it’s some kind of semi-precious metal. Maybe pewter.
[6/26/2013 10:02:15 AM] Boozlebub: Before 865 takes another shot of the sweet, heavy toxic metal laden whiskey from his Happy Pill Time cup, he still cautiously keeps his eyes peeled towards the little slat between them and 003 nervously… Taking another shot, he let’s loose another muffled yelp and starts rubbing his hastily bandaged arms.
[6/26/2013 11:39:46 AM] DrRobertson: as #865 glances at the slot, #347 snatches the handle from him, takes a swig, and replaces it
[6/26/2013 11:40:20 AM] DrRobertson: #347 admires his gun, he’s fond of it already, he’d name it, but they never last from his experience
[6/26/2013 11:40:47 AM] DrRobertson: when #347 took the job, he had just finished University, and REALLY needed to pay off his student loans, something he’s still trying to do
[6/26/2013 11:48:20 AM] Boozlebub: The Madatory Voluntary Happy Pill Testing for SCIENCE AND FUN™ has sorta left 865 a little… dull around the edges. Well, not quite “dull around the edges” and more “Missing giant swaths of memory” and “Sometimes waking up in his bed by his favorite stuffed animal (Hopsy the Happy Bunny) with odd ouchies by his temples and a bloody knife in his hand.”
[6/26/2013 11:52:17 AM] Boozlebub: And don’t even get started about the badger bite marks all over his face and arms… And the pinchie stabbies! “THE PINCHIE STABBIES!!!” 865 gasps, eyes darting everywhere dark. “They like to come from the dark…”
[6/26/2013 11:58:38 AM] Boozlebub: [Screw it, if I can have Hopsy the Happy Bunny on me, 865 would love to have his bestest friend there is.]
[6/26/2013 12:22:40 PM] Boozlebub: Given the fact that 865 has been sent to the Time Out Pit so often that the Caring Corps has taken to calling getting sent to the Pit “Getting 865ed,” he would certainly know that the Pinchie Stabbies come from the dark. Good luck trying to get him to tell you what the Pinchie Stabbies are…
[6/26/2013 12:24:33 PM] DrRobertson: “865, have you ever given thought ot what would happen if you were promoted? I mean, would they call it ‘getting 864ed’? I only ask because, simply put, you eventually move up in this field. Well, either that or…”
[6/26/2013 12:25:30 PM] Boozlebub: …you mean… I’d have to learn a new me-number? That even possible?
[6/26/2013 12:27:21 PM] Boozlebub: 865 turns and produces a smallish rabbit plushie, gray with brown paws from his breast pocket. The little toy, like its owner, has seen better days. He pets it reassuringly.
[6/26/2013 12:28:02 PM] Boozlebub: I… could be 864?
[6/26/2013 12:28:11 PM] DrRobertson: Do you think I started at #347? Hell no! I mean, you get moved up here and there, mostly through idiots making mistakes. I even recall telling 292 not to try to push the things further down in the compactor from the INSIDE, but he didn’t listen
[6/26/2013 12:29:02 PM] Boozlebub: 865’s eyes grow wide with amazement.
[6/26/2013 12:30:07 PM] DrRobertson: Then there was 118, the damned fool. He thought it would be a great idea to do work on the guns. To be fair, he was a genius, I recall him having an engineering diploma of sorts, probably from community college. Of course, he didn’t realize you shouldn’t operate equipment while it was still live!
[6/26/2013 12:30:11 PM] DrRobertson: some people…
[6/26/2013 12:30:26 PM] DrRobertson: Anyway, I get every fourth weekend off now!
[6/26/2013 12:31:41 PM] Boozlebub: 865 pets Hopsy the Happy Bunny more hurriedly. "You mean… I could… do good and move up? Not just avoid… the… Time…outPIT…..
[6/26/2013 12:32:49 PM] DrRobertson: Now look, I never said you could avoid the pit. At this point, I think it’s mastasized to your bones. But, it’s possible to acquire rank.
[6/26/2013 12:32:56 PM] DrRobertson: a higher one rather
[6/26/2013 12:33:36 PM] Boozlebub: Higher rank? That means littler number, right?
[6/26/2013 12:33:59 PM] DrRobertson: Indeed it does 865, indeed it does.
[6/26/2013 12:34:52 PM] DrRobertson: Funny isn’t it, how we go by numbers! Sometimes I even forget I have a name. Or a degree for that matter.
[6/26/2013 12:35:12 PM] Boozlebub: Name? Yeah, I have a name. It’s 865.
[6/26/2013 12:35:23 PM] Boozlebub: And Hopsy has a name!
[6/26/2013 12:36:02 PM] DrRobertson: Don’t we all… [347 takes another swig of the Scotch, partially to get his nerves up, but more so to drown his sorrows]
[6/26/2013 12:38:10 PM] Boozlebub: 865 pretends to have Hopsy have a sip out of his Medicine Cup.
[6/26/2013 12:41:14 PM] Scurvyj: [Very well, #865. Hopsy is now on your character sheet, you lucky so-and-so.]
[6/26/2013 12:41:35 PM] Boozlebub: {YAAAAAAAY!]
[6/26/2013 12:41:41 PM] DrRobertson: [hhahaha]
[6/26/2013 12:42:32 PM] Scurvyj: [By the way, fantastic roleplay, guys. I’ll write out the next part when I get home from work. Still 18 minutes of lunch break.]
[6/26/2013 12:44:36 PM] Boozlebub: The truck hits a bump, startling 865. He clutches Hopsy close to his chest.
[6/26/2013 12:45:03 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, if people want to do up music, pictures, or anything else for this game, I’ll throw it on the Tumblr. I took it out of search results, so we shouldn’t have hipsters or trolls knocking at our doors, don’t worry. I picked it because I was able to make one in less than 5 minutes, and it’s better to have character sheets and stuff in one central place, preferably one that DOESN’T require you to log in.]
[6/26/2013 12:46:07 PM] Boozlebub: [What’s the address? I’ll take a picture of Hopsy tomorrow morning. Yes, I have a smallish rabbit plushie. Why is that a surprise?]
[6/26/2013 12:46:08 PM] DrRobertson: [What about http://www.obsidianportal.com/ ?]
[6/26/2013 12:46:24 PM] DrRobertson: [You have to log in, but pretty cool]
[6/26/2013 12:48:58 PM] Scurvyj: By the way, you guys have been assigned to a factory in a delightful little place called the Hollows, a small industrial park in a fairly cushy neighborhood of Cityopolis. It’s technically more of an office/light industrial building, and it probably won’t be a high-priority target. Actually, you’re pretty sure the Dr. sent you there because it was the least dangerous, and consequently, the hardest to screw up. Anyway, there’s about 30 of you, all told, so each transport is carrying half. Thankfully, that douchebag #348 is in the other truck.
[6/26/2013 12:50:31 PM | Edited 12:52:19 PM] Scurvyj: It actually takes you a long time to get there, because this is the kind of neighborhood with a million traffic lights, where cops might pull you over for going 3 over the limit, in which case you’d have to use The Gas on them and go for a little ride near the rock quarry, if you get my drift. So the driver is going a slow-as-balls 30 mph, and the frequent stopping is enough to aggravate motion sickness if anyone should have it.
[6/26/2013 12:51:38 PM] Scurvyj: [That does look really damn cool, actually. When you say “have to log in” does that mean people need to log in just to view, or only to make changes?]
[6/26/2013 12:57:08 PM] Boozlebub: [I’m gonna turn in, friends. Always fun RPing. I’m REALLY enjoying 865!]
[6/26/2013 12:57:54 PM] Scurvyj: [I’m happy we got this game going, it’s scratching the RPG itch, and it’s fun as hell so far. More to come when I go home. Duty calls, friends! Sleep well.]
[6/26/2013 1:24:53 PM] DrRobertson: [only make changes]
[6/26/2013 1:26:22 PM] Scurvyj: [Only make changes to the what now?]
[6/26/2013 1:26:57 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh, right. Tumblr has the same thing, so there’s really no reason not to switch. If you guys can update stuff as well as me, bonus.]
[6/26/2013 1:28:41 PM] DrRobertson: [You have to sign in to update stuff, but still, it’s pretty cool]
[6/26/2013 1:29:43 PM | Edited 1:29:49 PM] Scurvyj: [I like the layout much better. Tumblr’s free layouts mostly look like ass, and formatting those character sheets is a pain because it assumes that I want to double-space everything, so I have to manually remove

tags and add
instead]
[6/26/2013 6:58:58 PM] Scurvyj: http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/mook-to-mastermind
[6/26/2013 6:59:14 PM | Edited 7:00:10 PM] Scurvyj: [Read it and weep, gentlemen. Throw me your email, and I’ll give ya an invite.]
[6/26/2013 7:00:01 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, I’ll eventually set up the wiki for media stuffs, so OhFoxy (or whoever) can throw music and audio on there if you feel like it.]
[6/26/2013 7:20:52 PM] Scurvyj: [Eventually is now, apparently. OhFoxy, I put your file up on Grooveshark and figured out a way to link it to the wiki. If you’re not cool with this, or you’d rather me have it hosted elsewhere or not at all, let me know. I’m mostly just tooling around at this point.]
[6/26/2013 8:56:21 PM] DrRobertson: DrRobertson.W.Robertson@gmail.com
[6:01:48 AM] Boozlebub: [I’ve joined, Scurvyj. canonetgiiiql17@gmail.com named Boozlebub.]
[6:07:39 AM] Boozlebub: [Also, do we have any idea what our uniforms look like? For some reason I have this odd idea about instead of jumpsuits, maybe some overalls? Thoughts? I’d like to try to draw a shitty character drawing.]
[6:14:01 AM] DrRobertson: [I suppose the uniforms are whatever. We’re expendable, I doubt he cares if one of us shoots another, or what we wear.]
[6:16:31 AM] Boozlebub: [perhaps, but if we lack the individuality to have our own names, I get the feeling that other forms of individuality such as manners of dress would be out as well. The whole “you’re just cogs in the wheel” type deal, and really I just kinda figured since the good Doctor is so OCD about details and a painfully regimented life that a dress code would be included.]
[6:17:45 AM] Boozlebub: [And it would give Dr. Stitch more reasons to 865 people… Which sounds like it doubles as entertainment for him.]
[6:18:40 AM] DrRobertson: [A just point. I assume once we climb out of our cesspit, if we ever do, we can weat whatever we want.]
[6:19:42 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. That’s sort of what I was thinking to… I mean, look at Cobra. We’re not Tomax or Xamot, we’re not Stormshadow or Destro. We’re the throwaways.]
[6:20:21 AM] DrRobertson: [The shitty clones…]
[6:20:53 AM] Boozlebub: [The nameless multitudes, the Waves after Waves of his own men to throw at the killbots until they shut themselves down for rolling over their kill counter.]
[6:42:44 AM | Edited 6:42:56 AM] Scurvyj: [Okay, I sent you guys both invites.]
[6:43:29 AM] Scurvyj: [And yes, you’re wearing uniforms, and they’re really shitty, and I was hoping someone would step up and describe/draw them.]
[6:44:40 AM] Boozlebub: [Give me a bit. After my mom/Gretchen’s birthday pizza deal, I can draw. I kinda like the idea of them in overalls.]
[6:45:11 AM] Scurvyj: [Like Oopma Loompas!]
[6:45:34 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah, and quite kindergarteny, too!]
[6:48:06 AM] Scurvyj: [I’m gonna wait until my big break at work to post, maybe lunchtime.]
[6:50:29 AM] Boozlebub: [Good good. I have some neat ideas…]
[8:16:30 AM] OhFoxy: [I’ll take the gun.]
[10:39:17 AM] Boozlebub: [And I just drew #865]
[11:52:43 AM] OhFoxy: [I’d love to see.]
[11:56:23 AM] DrRobertson: iI concur]
[11:59:08 AM] OhFoxy: http://i.imgur.com/DqCaSZv.jpg
[3:09:40 PM] Scurvyj: If you scan it, I can put it on the Portal page. Same goes for anyone who wants to draw their characters or #003. Dr. Stitch could only be drawn sufficiently creepily by the guy who illustrated Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
[5:07:29 PM] Scurvyj: [Sorry, that should have been in brackets.]
[5:08:35 PM] Scurvyj: [And OhFoxy, is that the portrait you want to use for your character? I can put it on the Obsidian Portal page. Also, DrRobertson, you should accept my email invite, and OhFoxy, you should tell me your email so I can send you an invite too.]

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Mook to Mastermind scurvyj