Mook to Mastermind
You all scream through the hallways at breakneck speed, the wind whipping in your faces and messing up your immaculately-styled mook hair. You notice the downstairs area to be strangely empty—not even Jeb the lobby security guard is in sight. #003 turns his Stitchcycle XL in the direction of a doorway that leads to a stairwell and waves his arm, signaling you all to follow suit
[7/6/2013 2:08:47 PM] Scurvyj: [Hey drivers, give me Driving checks to negotiate the stairwell.]
[7/6/2013 2:09:44 PM] Scurvyj: [Remember to add the +3 for the Stitchcycles' Pep rating.]
[7/6/2013 2:10:03 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [5, 2]
[7/6/2013 2:11:25 PM] Scurvyj: [Al, guess what? You're untrained, so you don't get the +3 since it washes with the penalty for using a skill untrained. However, you get a total of 7, which is good though you you do have to slow down a bit to get up there.]
[7/6/2013 2:14:00 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I thought as much but I wasn’t sure.]
[7/6/2013 2:16:01 PM] Scurvyj: [#191 gets a 4, so he’s worse off than you though not bad enough to crash. #351 gets a 9 and speeds up the stairs not too shabbily. #596 gets a 6 and lags behind you.]
[7/6/2013 2:17:00 PM] Scurvyj: [Still need a roll for #347, if someone wants to do it. Basically, this is a “just don’t screw up” check.]
[7/6/2013 2:17:41 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [5, 1]
[7/6/2013 2:19:06 PM] Scurvyj: [#347 does a pretty good job, keeping up with the champion #351 all the way to the top.]
[7/6/2013 2:20:34 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [What are the stats on the tri-section staff?]
[7/6/2013 2:20:54 PM] Scurvyj: When you guys arrive at the top of the stairwell, into the main lobby of the office wing, you see absolute devistation. First and most importantly, a rather large chunk of this area is flat-out gone, having been blown to hell by some kind of explosive device. Random chunks of rubble litter the floor, and there are still little bits of celing trickling down.
[7/6/2013 2:21:02 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [When you get a moment, of course.]
[7/6/2013 2:21:11 PM] Scurvyj: [Str + 3. Basically it’s a staff/club that you can describe cool stunts for.]
[7/6/2013 2:21:24 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Ah. I love that.]
[7/6/2013 2:21:30 PM] Scurvyj: [The sword is Str + 4, if that’s what you grabbed.]
[7/6/2013 2:22:12 PM] Scurvyj: [Remember it slid across the floor during the fight. The staff you would have had to rip off of her before she fell to her bubbly death, but I’ll allow it.]
[7/6/2013 2:22:33 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [There was a sword? Fuck. I forgot about that. I grabbed whatever she was holding when she fell in which I assumed was the staff.]
[7/6/2013 2:24:07 PM] Scurvyj: [I can retcon that you grabbed either. Same goes for anyone else who wants one of her weapons. If there’s an argument, Al gets first dibs since he struck the deathblow, other disputes will be settled by rank] Small fires have broken out in the remaining areas of the office wing, which is lit by the faint, flickering emergency lighting. The sprinklers have been going off for a while, making this whole area slick and tough to negotiate.
[7/6/2013 2:25:13 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [She was holding the staff when she fell so that’s what I’ll stick with. That’s what I role-played.]
[7/6/2013 2:26:08 PM] Scurvyj: You also notice that there are dead bodies strewn everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. Pretty much every office worker who was here (and it was almost the full staff, since this is the kind of shitty company where people are always stuck working unpaid overtime) has been blown into assorted chunks of bloody meat, crushed by chunks of fallen ceiling, or riddled with bullet holes.
[7/6/2013 2:26:26 PM] Scurvyj: Surprisingly, you see assorted guns scattered here and there.
[7/6/2013 2:27:55 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Slows his cycle as he passes through and grabs a random hunk of bloody meat. He awkwardly tries to eat it and drive with his mouth at the same time, speeding to catch up.
[7/6/2013 2:28:24 PM] Scurvyj: [First perception roll of the game, and #347 nails it with a 10.] #347, you can only conclude that the office workers here were actually involved in a firefight with somebody. And not just like, a couple of office workers who decided to play hero; from the number of guns, it looks like pretty much EVERYBODY was packing.
[7/6/2013 2:28:35 PM] Scurvyj: You might be able to tell more if you weren’t on the back of a speeding motorcycle
[7/6/2013 2:29:12 PM] Scurvyj: [Rock on. The staff is yours. I’ll make up a page for it eventually.]
[7/6/2013 2:32:11 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay, it’s done. I lowered the concealment since it’s collapsible.]
[7/6/2013 2:34:56 PM] Scurvyj: From somewhere further inside, you hear a sound like that of jet engines, followed by somebody shouting something that you can’t quite make out.
[7/6/2013 3:03:02 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: 98 searches for the speaker that emits the awful sounds on his bike. When (if) he finds it, he punches it until it stops forever. “No more voices!!”
[7/6/2013 4:16:20 PM] Scurvyj: #098, you start punching various places on the bike (while driving and eating a chunk of bloody meat, mind you), but the cheerful voice of Dr. Stitch doesn’t seem to stop.
[7/7/2013 1:14:28 AM] DrRobertson: [Sorry gents, I was out and then predisposed.]
[7/7/2013 1:14:55 AM] DrRobertson: [It looks like I’m doing rather well, which is enjoyable. Question, what about Bunds PP7? If I recall, it was lost when it was knocked from his hand]
[7/7/2013 6:02:41 AM] Scurvyj: [#003 tossed it into one of the vats, sadly.]
[7/7/2013 6:07:18 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Feel free to go in after it. ;) ]
[7/7/2013 7:07:13 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright, I’m up. Whatcha guys gonna do?]
[7/7/2013 7:10:10 AM] Boozlebub: #865 is scanning back and forth in his swivel gun thingy, making mouth machine gun noises shooting corpses.
[7/7/2013 7:11:16 AM] Scurvyj: [I’d say you each have enough time to do one thing; if you do more, you might risk losing the trail.]
[7/7/2013 7:15:04 AM] Scurvyj: [You can investigate, take a quick look around, pick stuff up, or just get to the action.]
[7/7/2013 7:15:50 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Looks at #865 with a demented smirk and makes a sound like a rabid horse whinnying.
[7/7/2013 7:18:08 AM] Boozlebub: #865 gets a little bored, so he looks at all the dead bodies. “Just like the Orphanarium,” as he blankly rummages through the bodies of the dead, whatever shinies and neat toys he can find.
[7/7/2013 7:19:09 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Revs his cycle by tilting his back.
[7/7/2013 7:19:15 AM] Boozlebub: [+3, -6, -5... Damn it... He finds jack shit.]
[7/7/2013 7:22:24 AM] Scurvyj: [No, I roll Perception checks, and you got a little something.] Junk, junk, junk, ooh, you do find a Grendel P-12 clutched in the hand of half an office worker. Though small, it has a bit more punch than your Bobcat. (9/1/12+1)
[7/7/2013 7:24:06 AM] Boozlebub: [WHEW! Thank the heavens!] 865 looks at his new gun and smiles, putting it into his front pocket of his overalls. He hops back into the back seat of the Stitchcycle, again pretending to shoot corpses…
[7/7/2013 7:25:16 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Prods at dead bodies with his new toy staff, looking for items of interest.
[7/7/2013 7:27:38 AM] Scurvyj: [I assume you’re not interested in guns; correct me if I’m wrong.] You find a couple of knives and a baseball bat, but nothing cooler than what you’ve already got.
[7/7/2013 7:29:50 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Picks up his new quarry, looking satisfied. [Nah. Bad enough I’m driving unskilled. No unskilled shooting for me.]
[7/7/2013 7:30:48 AM] Scurvyj: [Are you going to play a game of Knife Baseball?]
[7/7/2013 7:31:02 AM] Boozlebub: [I LOVE THAT IDEA!]
[7/7/2013 7:33:16 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright folks, tell ya what. We’ve been flying through a lot of narration; I’m gonna give the other two guys time to catch up. I think Irene and I are going on a bit of a shopping trip this morning since I leave tomorrow, so when we get back, I’ll get this thing started. I’ll have my Android on me, so I can check in periodically.]
[7/7/2013 7:34:27 AM] Boozlebub: [Rock out, bro. Looking forward to it, and tell Irene that Gretchen and I say hi!!!]
[7/7/2013 7:35:06 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I could… was just going to call it knife ball though.]
[7/7/2013 7:35:34 AM] Scurvyj: [Will do. I might could update the wiki today too, we’ll see.]
[7/7/2013 7:36:59 AM] Boozlebub: [Just think about the stunts involved with Knifeball… seriously.]
[7/7/2013 7:47:32 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Oh, I did.]
[7/7/2013 7:50:16 AM] Boozlebub: [Excellent…]
[7/7/2013 10:12:01 AM] Scurvyj: [And technically, it still counts as a Martial Arts attack. God bless the ambiguous classification of throwing-type weapons in Feng Shui!]
[7/7/2013 10:15:43 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Damn, I love this system.]
[7/7/2013 10:17:19 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah… Now the true question is how to make a team-up Knifeball double attack work…]
[7/7/2013 10:23:11 AM] Scurvyj: [I made an item page for it on Obsidian Portal, and half-assed up a picture.]
[7/7/2013 10:24:24 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Haha. Fucking fantastic.]
[7/7/2013 10:25:15 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Concealment: 2 (but does it REALLY matter?)]
[7/7/2013 10:27:42 AM] Boozlebub: This is what I love about FS… Completely.
[7/7/2013 10:28:01 AM] Boozlebub: [Sorry meant to be OOC bracketed.]
[7/7/2013 10:31:21 AM] Scurvyj: [I’m starting to write brief backstories for the items. For example…]
[7/7/2013 10:31:24 AM] Scurvyj: [Q: Do you want to grab the knives, or the baseball bat?
[7/7/2013 10:32:52 AM] Boozlebub: [Nice! So are we gonna give Hopsy the STR+1? ]
[7/7/2013 10:34:10 AM] Scurvyj: [Still thinking about it. Might be willing to go with Str + 2.]
[7/7/2013 10:36:37 AM] Boozlebub: [I’m all good with whatever you agree to. #865’s still gonna use him melee.]
[7/7/2013 10:42:34 AM | Edited 10:43:29 AM] Scurvyj: [There, I updated all the item pages with horrible jokes and descriptions]
[7/7/2013 10:44:10 AM] Scurvyj: [Feel free to change them if you guys want, since you should have access to edit the item pages themselves.]
[7/7/2013 10:44:19 AM] Boozlebub: Awesome!
[7/7/2013 10:44:24 AM] Boozlebub: 
[7/7/2013 10:44:47 AM] Scurvyj: [I’m especially proud of my quick descriptions for Knifeball Set and Tumbleweed.]
[7/7/2013 10:45:09 AM] Scurvyj: [And by “proud” I mean “deeply disappointed in myself”]
[7/7/2013 10:45:47 AM] Boozlebub: [Well, So far I like them.]
[7/7/2013 10:51:20 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I was trying to save her… So, I could rape her face.]
[7/7/2013 10:53:02 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I love the twin baton description.]
[7/7/2013 10:53:52 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: I’m noticing that I’m starting to turn ito a walking armory of melee weapons.]
[7/7/2013 10:55:03 AM] Boozlebub: [Seriously, that’s pretty damn fun.]
[7/7/2013 11:03:19 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [All of the fun little extras just excite me more.]
[7/7/2013 11:04:23 AM] Boozlebub: [Waiting for “One Secret Warrior, One Three Section Staff…”]
[7/7/2013 11:05:23 AM] Boozlebub: [Even though I see it being as fun for the poor Secret Warrior as “One Guy One Jar” was for the One Guy…]
[7/7/2013 11:06:38 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Oww…]
[7/7/2013 11:08:22 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. That movie made me wince, too…]
[7/7/2013 11:15:00 AM] Scurvyj: [Adventure Log and Chat Log updated, that’s all from me for now. Looks like we’re about to go grab lunch. Later, gents!]
[7/7/2013 11:15:14 AM] Boozlebub: Later!
[7/7/2013 11:21:07 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Later.]
[7/7/2013 11:30:07 AM] Scurvyj: [Yeah, the extras give me something fun to work on when I want to do game stuff but don’t want to harass people to take their turns.]
[7/7/2013 5:57:22 PM] Scurvyj: [Just for the heck of it, I made Perception checks for #087 and #347. Fox, you didn’t get anything, but DrRobertson…] #087, you see lots of discarded weapons, but nothing that really catches your eye. #347, you, on the other hand, find a couple of excellent goodies. The first is a Ruger Red Label Shotgun (10/5/2) with a giant Confederate Flag sticker on the stock lying behind an overturned desk. The second is a large Fire Axe (which #087 might also recognize, Str + 4) clutched in the hands of poor #678, who was apparently shot in the face with a high-caliber weapon.
[7/7/2013 5:57:32 PM] Scurvyj: [Dude, you’re really crushing these Perception rolls!]
[7/8/2013 12:29:58 AM] DrRobertson: [Well, I’m rather proud with myself]
[7/8/2013 12:31:09 AM] DrRobertson: I’ve got work in 4 hours, so I can do whatever until then]
[7/8/2013 4:50:28 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I just got home from work.]
[7/8/2013 4:54:49 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. I just finished a Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires LP. Finally got the stupid USB Capture Card working.]
[7/8/2013 5:01:53 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Very cool.]
[7/8/2013 5:04:26 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. I kinda stomped it, but I’m an idiot. EXP was on and shit. That still, still plenty of poor decision making leading to very big fuck-ups in Lady Da Qiao’s tyrranical, bloodsoaked rise to power.]
[7/8/2013 5:08:30 AM] Boozlebub: [Did you know Grave Robbing is likely one of the best things to do in the stategy phase – AWESOME for money AND you get neat items to use. My only real regret about this playthrough is that I didn’t get a chance to execute Xiao Qiao for being a fucking traitor.]
[7/8/2013 5:13:42 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Damn I forgot how much better 5E was than 4E.]
[7/8/2013 5:15:00 AM] Boozlebub: [And hey, a Taoist Sage told me to rob graves, so it’s cool. :P]
[7/8/2013 5:17:04 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Zuo Ci is not a good role model.]
[7/8/2013 5:17:51 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah… True…[
[7/8/2013 6:48:33 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [That magic is clearly a gift from the devil.]
[7/8/2013 7:23:47 AM] O’ Foxy: [Grave robbing, not even once: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m22y1hHU7A1r8d2mio1_400.gif ]
[7/8/2013 7:32:35 AM] Scurvyj: [Mmm… kinda makes me want a sundae with strawberry syrup.]
[7/8/2013 7:33:53 AM] Scurvyj: [Aww, maan… missed DrRobertson. I was gonna ask him if he wants to take those weapons that his character found. Boo-urns! Also, flight leaves Taiwan in about 11 hours.]
[7/8/2013 7:34:37 AM] O’ Foxy: [I’ve got a flight to catch as well, good luck with that.]
[7/8/2013 7:35:51 AM] Scurvyj: [It’s not so much a flight as a painful series of flights interspersed with long stretches of airport layover. And yes, I actually got James Joyce’s “Ulysses” as an audiobook, so don’t even THINK about trying to make that joke.]
[7/8/2013 7:39:14 AM] Scurvyj: [Also, have you seen this? http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/mook-to-mastermind/wikis/deadmooks ]
[7/8/2013 7:40:39 AM] Scurvyj: [That’s right, Boozlebub; I fucking made it. FOR REALS!]
[7/8/2013 8:03:18 AM] Boozlebub: [YES! I can’t stop hearing “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” by Boyz II Men when I read it!]
[7/8/2013 8:09:49 AM] Scurvyj: [Obviously, it’s a bit of a hand-tip to what was going on upstairs, but whatever.]
[7/8/2013 8:11:30 AM] Boozlebub: [Of course… Dark humor is one of our “things”]
[7/8/2013 10:02:12 AM] Nicole Ott: hey guys,whats up
[7/8/2013 10:11:02 AM] Scurvyj: [Not much; just counting down the hours until I go to the airport. How have you been?]
[7/8/2013 10:32:09 AM] O’ Foxy: [Getting ready to fly back to Fl, reading about Israel stirring shit up.]
[7/8/2013 10:37:13 AM] DrRobertson: [Sure I’ll grab the guns!]
[7/8/2013 10:37:39 AM] DrRobertson: [Also, the “grave robbing, not even once” was great, 10/10!]
[7/8/2013 10:38:43 AM] O’ Foxy: [Grab’m boy.]
[7/8/2013 11:01:06 AM] Scurvyj: [You want the shotty, but not the axe? That makes the Juggalos sad.]
[7/8/2013 11:07:10 AM] DrRobertson: [Well, I figure the shotygun is more suited to me. I will, however, hand the axe over to #865.]
[7/8/2013 11:07:24 AM] DrRobertson: “They ever use these back in the orphanarium?”
[7/8/2013 11:07:42 AM] DrRobertson: #347 says to #865, with a hint of glee in his voice
[7/8/2013 11:13:40 AM] Scurvyj: [I made pages for both of them, and oh god, the thought of #865 with an axe is the stuff of nightmares.]
[7/8/2013 11:14:24 AM] DrRobertson: [#347 knows]
[7/8/2013 11:20:56 AM | Edited 11:21:02 AM] Scurvyj: [My plan is to buy a cup of coffee and camp on Wi-Fi whilst in Beijing, so I can run this battle on my phone]
[7/8/2013 11:21:57 AM] DrRobertson: [BALLER!}
[7/8/2013 11:27:39 AM] Scurvyj: [Indubitably.]
[7/8/2013 6:07:27 PM] Scurvyj: [Alright, guys. Gonna board this bitch.]
[7/8/2013 7:43:22 PM] Boozlebub: #865’s eyes light up like he just got an AT-AT toy for christmast seeing the axe. He turns for a moment and starts murmuring to … himself? It looks like he’s talking to Hopsy, but he must me talking to himself. It gets slightly pitched in the terms of conversations. His already somewhat squeaky voice gets more so. Random phrases like “no, I mean, I don’t want to replace…” and other things like that are said.“but I don’t want you hurt… See, okay….” and he turns again and takes the axe with a smile. “Thanks Mr. 347!”
[7/8/2013 7:45:09 PM] Boozlebub: [Sorry for the delay, friends. This earache’s kicking the shit out of me.]
[7/9/2013 7:59:44 AM] O’ Foxy: [Back in town.]
[7/9/2013 11:10:08 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Looks a little jealous at the sight of the axe but he distracts himself by stroking his tri-section staff sensuously, giving the tip a little lick.
[7/9/2013 1:23:01 PM] Scurvyj: [Holy crap that was irritating.]
[7/9/2013 1:24:45 PM] Boozlebub: [Yeah? What up, man?]
[7/9/2013 1:35:20 PM] Scurvyj: [Getting Wi-Fi in Beijing was a pain in the ass]
[7/9/2013 1:36:04 PM] Scurvyj: [You have to get a temporary ID and all that, but the login page kept hanging]
[7/9/2013 1:39:24 PM] Boozlebub: [Eeesh. Suckass]
[7/9/2013 1:48:28 PM] Scurvyj: [Well, at least I’m on now, but looks like the game will have to wait (angry) ]
[7/9/2013 1:56:12 PM] Scurvyj: [I want a real Stitchcycle to ride up and down stairs, damnit]
[7/9/2013 2:04:44 PM] Boozlebub: [I do too. Shit, its 1! Gotta crash…]
[7/9/2013 2:05:20 PM] Boozlebub: [Stupid Rogue Legacy and your incredible soul sucking properties]
[7/9/2013 2:26:10 PM] Scurvyj: [Later!]
[7/9/2013 3:14:52 PM] Scurvyj: [The lady with the metal detector wand was a bit thorough for my liking, but at least I know I’m metal-free all over :^) ]
[7/9/2013 3:17:24 PM] Scurvyj: [Guess I didn’t eat as many lead paint chips as I thought]
[7/9/2013 3:45:09 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Asian chicks with crazy wands? Yes please.]
[7/10/2013 12:25:22 PM] DrRobertson: power went out due to massiv rain
[7/10/2013 12:34:01 PM] DrRobertson: http://i.imgur.com/hiHQyft.jpg
[7/10/2013 1:26:16 PM] Scurvyj: [Damn… looks pretty ominous.]
[7/10/2013 1:27:15 PM] Scurvyj: [And Al, not sure if you’d be interested unless you’re into GMILFs]
[7/10/2013 2:40:10 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [It’s the ILF part that’s important.]
[7/11/2013 8:02:02 AM] Boozlebub: [Don’t forget, Al WAS talking about Dating on Demand’s King Arthur. YUM YUM SO GOOD!]
[7/11/2013 9:12:12 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Her Momma, who’s in heaven, would have gotten a show.]
[7/11/2013 10:14:56 AM] Nicole Ott: Whats all this brew ha ha…?
[7/11/2013 10:15:08 AM] Nicole Ott: oop. wrong computer
[7/12/2013 5:22:32 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [Brackets
[7/12/2013 5:23:38 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [Are hard on my phone. What up folks]
[7/12/2013 9:21:07 AM] O’ Foxy: [They make brackets the worst on phones. It’s like, 3 buttons to get to that page of characters.]
[7/12/2013 9:51:25 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [Yep. Irritating. And since my phone is the most reliable access…]
[7/12/2013 10:22:05 AM] DrRobertson: use whatever, even OOC
[7/12/2013 10:22:11 AM] DrRobertson: [oops, same deal]
[7/12/2013 12:38:12 PM] O’ Foxy: [Broke your own system]
[7/12/2013 12:49:03 PM] Scurvyj: [How dare you defy the brackets?]
[7/12/2013 12:50:07 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay guys, sorry about the absence; been doing family stuff. I’m planning to get this show on the road. Last chance for actions in the office wing; I’m assuming you’re going to look for those guys. I’ll kick things off when I wake up tomorrow morning.]
[7/12/2013 12:51:51 PM] Scurvyj: [Also. #865 has the Fire Axe now.]
[7/12/2013 12:56:39 PM] O’ Foxy: [It’s good, I just started reading my logged messages.]
[7/12/2013 10:38:54 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, what up Mike?]
[7/13/2013 6:26:53 AM] Scurvyj: After briefly getting off your Stitchcycles to root around for neat-looking weapons like your mama (who’s up in Heaven) taught you, you decide to go toward the strange engine sounds
[7/13/2013 6:28:31 AM] Scurvyj: You re-mount your trusty steeds and start to ride through the wreckage of the office wing. More bodies are scattered every which way here, some which you recognize as those of fellow mooks
[7/13/2013 6:32:13 AM] Scurvyj: Eventually you get near the edge of the main office room. A large section of the floor has caved in here, and you can see clear through to the lower floor, which is a large, now-ruined storage area
[7/13/2013 6:33:36 AM] Scurvyj: The walls are smashed in and covered with burn marks, and small piles of collapsed ceiling are scattered in various places
[7/13/2013 6:35:58 AM] Scurvyj: As bad off as this room is, the room behind it is basically gone. Bare girders lead across the hole up to the shattered remnants of a window, ragged bits of Venitian blinds still clinging like a jellyfish’s tentacles
[7/13/2013 6:38:35 AM] Scurvyj: “Son of a stitch!” #003 semi-curses out of habit. “That was the data center! It was a mother-stitching two-pronged attack!” He slams his fist into a chunk of ravaged drywall
[7/13/2013 6:41:20 AM] Scurvyj: Through the haze of chalky particles that are probably mostly asbestos, you spy a trio of silhouettes huddled together in what’s left of the data center. You also hear that loud WHIRRRRRR like a jet engine, which was distant at first, but is rapidly getting louder
[7/13/2013 6:42:22 AM] Scurvyj: A loud, raspy voice cuts in, “I THOUGHT YOU WORKED THE BUGS OUT OF THAT THING!!!”
[7/13/2013 6:46:06 AM] Scurvyj: A squeaky, almost childlike voice replies, “I must have tested it a dozen times! Perhaps I need to adjust the impedance of the primary propulsion…”
[7/13/2013 6:47:15 AM] Scurvyj: He’s interrupted by an all-to-familiar bad Scottish accent. “DAMN! THEY’RE HERE!”
[7/14/2013 10:07:41 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Growls out loudly, muffled by the throttle handle in his mouth, “HERE!”
[7/14/2013 10:28:29 AM] O’ Foxy: #087 would drop whatever rubble he was inspecting and immediately go into a battle stance, however at the moment he was having amnesia, as if as soon as the battle had started, he had forgotten where he was, and what weapons he had on him. Regardless, he had been jarred, and hearing people scream “Here” loudly, he promptly shouted “I CAN HEAR!”.
[7/14/2013 11:07:03 AM] Scurvyj: #003 looks ready to spray the area with machine gun fire
[7/15/2013 9:58:40 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Ugh… Airports…]
[7/16/2013 11:04:14 AM] DrRobertson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-Mc2q8p2g
[7/16/2013 11:11:13 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [What up dude. I know you have plans to do stuff this weekend but i was wondering if you were available before then. Evenings
[7/16/2013 11:13:53 AM] DrRobertson: [It looks like I’ve got plans Saturday, though I should be free Friday and Sunday?]
[7/16/2013 11:20:45 AM] Scurvyj: [Me? I’ll be up in Lake County, but just hanging out]
[7/16/2013 11:23:49 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [Friday evening would be cool. We have game Sunday]
[7/16/2013 11:24:58 AM] Mike Gutkoska: [Oh i mixed those posts up. Was talking to Scurvyj. Sorry Spence.
[7/16/2013 11:38:35 AM] DrRobertson: [Oh I see how it is!]
[7/16/2013 11:39:53 AM] O’ Foxy: 
[7/16/2013 10:44:34 PM] Scurvyj: [Alright gents, looks like we’re starting combat.]
[7/16/2013 10:54:41 PM] Scurvyj: #003’s only responses are a grimace and a hail of machine gun fire.
[7/16/2013 11:08:42 PM] Scurvyj: [+4, -4, Firearms = 10] Mr. Bund leaps out of the way just in time to avoid being cut in half. He rolls behind the ruins of a window frame and returns fire with a very small gun (which #865 might recognize)
[7/16/2013 11:20:40 PM] Scurvyj: [+2, -1, Firearms = 12] #191 goes down with a bullet in the braincase and a small splash of blood. A tall, slight figure wearing what looks like a cross between a robe and a smoking jacket stands up dramatically, black hair and robe/jacket whipping in the wind. "I am Dr. Sisyphus!" he shouts in a low, raspy voice
[7/16/2013 11:23:05 PM] Scurvyj: “I have read the portents, and your defeat has been foretold. Let this bullet be the spark that ignites the pyre of your demise!”
[7/16/2013 11:23:22 PM] Scurvyj: Bund just rolls his eyes
[7/16/2013 11:26:57 PM] DrRobertson: #347 proclaims “Whatever you say, Dr. Syphilis!”
[7/16/2013 11:28:52 PM] Scurvyj: Sisyphus gives you an acidic glare before grimly pointing his gun at the Stitchcycle that #596 is driving. The barrel gleams briefly before he fires
[7/16/2013 11:31:39 PM] DrRobertson: #347 just looks back, his Sparkling Smile™ glittering in the pale, dimly lit excuse of a factory
[7/16/2013 11:37:40 PM] Scurvyj: [Fortune time! +1, +5, -1, Called Shot -3, Firearms = 13] The bullet smashes into the front of the cycle. The engine starts to whirr and make strange humming noises
[7/16/2013 11:43:20 PM] Scurvyj: [#347, you’re up.]
[7/16/2013 11:44:30 PM] DrRobertson: #347 decides he’s not that fond of Dr. Syphillis. If anyone makes witty banter, albeit cruder than usual, it’s #347!
[7/16/2013 11:45:41 PM] DrRobertson: 3,-3, Firearms = 11]
[7/16/2013 11:45:55 PM] DrRobertson: [I hope I actually hit something that isn’t inanimate, or a friendly]
[7/17/2013 12:23:20 AM | Edited 12:27:08 AM] Scurvyj: [Dude, you just hit him. Damage = 10 – 6 Tough = 4 damage] You raise the shotgun, which has some wicked kickback, and pull the trigger. The cluster of shots knocks him clean off his feet and shreds his designer clothes. He falls in a puddle of dirty water for effect
[7/17/2013 12:24:01 AM] DrRobertson: [#347 is driving…]
[7/17/2013 12:24:28 AM] Scurvyj: [Aw, horsefeathers]
[7/17/2013 12:24:40 AM] DrRobertson: [Well, we had a good run!]
[7/17/2013 12:24:43 AM] DrRobertson: [HAHAHA]
[7/17/2013 12:27:38 AM] Scurvyj: [Edited!]
[7/17/2013 12:28:36 AM] DrRobertson: [YEA!]
[7/17/2013 12:28:54 AM] DrRobertson: [Anyway, I’m heading out to do stuff, I’ll be back later. Do whatever for me if you must!]
[7/19/2013 6:50:20 AM] DrRobertson: http://www.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/1ijft2/how_do_you_tell_your_players_that_the_super_mega/cb51m5q
[7/19/2013 8:44:29 AM] Scurvyj: [Good read, Spence.]
[7/19/2013 8:50:46 AM] Scurvyj: [I’ve slowed down a bit with the game since I’m on my Galaxy and not always near Wi-Fi]
[7/19/2013 9:06:57 AM] DrRobertson: [The game can happen any time, have fun while you’re home]
[7/19/2013 9:23:24 AM] Scurvyj: #003 continues to hammer Bund with a merciless hail of machine gun bullets. The veins in his neck bulge out as he grits his teeth, and you hear a symphony of “ting” sounds as bullet casings hit the floor
[7/19/2013 9:27:06 AM] Scurvyj: Bund turns up the acrobatics, diving, rolling, and leaping as gunshots rain down around him [Active Dodge]
[7/19/2013 9:29:09 AM] Scurvyj: [+6, +5, -1, Firearms = 20, ouch.] Bund's earlier wounds cause him to stumble, and a nice cluster of shots clips him in the side of his torso
[7/19/2013 9:30:37 AM] Scurvyj: [13 + 2 Auto + 6 Outcome – 7 Tough = 14 CRAP]
[7/19/2013 9:33:42 AM] Scurvyj: Bund cries out, and you clearly see large spatters of blood. Bolstered, the mooks raise a battle cry: “Let’s get these sons of stitches!”
[7/19/2013 9:36:55 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus stares daggers at you, #347, gets to his feet slowly with clenched fists, and raises his right hand in a strange metal-horns gesture
[7/19/2013 9:38:26 AM] Scurvyj: “You have invoked the wrath of the forgotten Sumerian Prankster Gods, wretch! They lay their mark upon you!”
[7/19/2013 9:45:07 AM] Scurvyj: "Clumsius, STUMBLIAE!" [+5, -5, Sorcery = 12] #347, you suddenly feel like you just found a finger in your cereal (well, the way you may have felt BEFORE you started eating the cafeteria food at StitchCo), but the feeling quickly subsides
[7/19/2013 9:48:24 AM] Scurvyj: #351 tries to ram Sisyphus with the bike, and #956 tries to cross the streams and help pound on Bund
[7/19/2013 9:50:22 AM] Scurvyj: [-1 and +1, they whiff] Both are easily dodged. Sisyphus kinda takes a step back, and Bund kinda shimmies to throw off the shots
[7/19/2013 9:55:13 AM] Scurvyj: [#087, #098, and #865 are up. By the way, that cycle that got shot is sounding REALLY buzzy and crackly now…]
[7/19/2013 10:10:03 AM] DrRobertson: [#351 and 956 were on that bike correct?]
[7/19/2013 10:43:43 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah, I think we’re on that bike…]
[7/19/2013 10:45:31 AM] Boozlebub: [Wait, I’m on your bike… Nevermind – Gotta think what to do…]
[7/19/2013 11:51:13 AM] DrRobertson: [Oh indeed, we’re fine. I just wanted clarification. I was rather certain that after the bike was shot, the two hopped off, and decided to wade in]
[7/19/2013 12:01:05 PM] Boozlebub: “Mr Fireax wants to say hello! Mr Fireax wants to give the mean man in a suit huggles!” [I’m not sure if we would need some set-up for this with DrRobertson, but I want to ride up along side Bund and swing the axe at his face while screaming “HUGGLES! FIREAX GIVE HUGGLES!”]
[7/19/2013 12:01:56 PM] Boozlebub: [Mechanically speaking, how to make this work…[
[7/19/2013 10:08:33 PM] Scurvyj: [Right, I’ve been slacking in my narration duties. I assume that you guys are on the move this sequence, maybe weaving around in circles to avoid being shot. So, we can just say #347 automatically gets you close enough to take a swing.]
[7/19/2013 10:09:15 PM] Scurvyj: [The office area is pretty big, maybe the size of a small parking lot.]
[7/19/2013 10:10:57 PM] Scurvyj: [And for the Driving people, you can do things like ram or pull your personal guns and shoot.]
[7/20/2013 1:09:54 AM] Boozlebub: [I don’t quite have access to dice right now, stupid work.] “Axe huggles!!” 865 screams as he swings the fire Axe wildly at Bund’s general direction, tine first. He seems to be swinging a slight bit low, possibly to “Here’s Johnny” the special agent’s groin.
[7/20/2013 6:03:29 AM] Scurvyj: [Everyone hates Bund]
[7/21/2013 8:26:27 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I hate Bund and flight delays…]
[7/21/2013 8:26:59 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I’ll try to post when I get home.]
[7/21/2013 2:28:57 PM] DrRobertson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU0aD91nGKU&feature=youtu.be
[7/22/2013 11:46:11 PM] deathwalker2142: ANY ONE KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WEREWOLF THE FORSAKEN GAME
[7/22/2013 11:54:48 PM] DrRobertson: AWWWW SHEEEEIT!
[7/23/2013 1:00:31 AM] O’ Foxy: =O
[7/23/2013 11:27:33 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: rides past Bund and feints a sling at his head, cackling manically until he drives back and stops in front of him, stroking the tri-section staff as if it were his own giant, limp cock. He flips it up violently, clearly aiming to do some damage. "Take my beating like she did!" [+6, -3, +3, +6 Martial arts = 15]
[7/23/2013 1:00:16 PM] DrRobertson: [Holy shit]
[7/24/2013 2:54:28 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Holy shit?]
[7/24/2013 2:55:58 PM] O’ Foxy: [Mostly.]
[7/25/2013 10:31:05 PM] Scurvyj: [Vacation’s almost over, so it’s time I got back down to business. Boozlebub, I need your Martial Arts roll. Fox, I need your action. Al, holy balls!]
[7/26/2013 5:32:33 AM] Scurvyj: [From the front to the back, say we count stacks, c’mon.]
[7/26/2013 5:32:53 AM] Scurvyj: [Davy Jones, giant squid.]
[7/26/2013 7:23:32 AM] Boozlebub: [6+1-2+mart. So…10? Right?]
[7/26/2013 8:53:13 AM] Scurvyj: [Lord, you guys are sixy this round. Fox, roll a 6 for the triple Mook Musou attack. Because Boozlebub, I think Al might’ve pushed Bund into impairment, which would mean you barely hit.]
[7/26/2013 8:54:41 AM] Boozlebub: [Remember. We need to tax the shit out of them!]
[7/26/2013 8:55:32 AM] Scurvyj: [If Fox hits too, this could be Kill #2.]
[7/26/2013 8:56:24 AM] Scurvyj: [Damnit, where’s Ranmaru? Fetch a bottle of lube and cancel my afternoon meetings!]
[7/26/2013 8:58:57 AM] Boozlebub: [I love Hobo Sapporo]
[7/26/2013 9:09:19 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I’m loving the new Venture Bros season.]
[7/26/2013 9:11:59 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Action Man, take it down a notch. Stop just thinking with your Action Crotch.]
[7/26/2013 9:16:10 AM] Scurvyj: [Haven’t seen it yet, but I do love the Action Man.]
[7/26/2013 9:18:11 AM] Scurvyj: [The maxi pads gathering dust under the sink. What the hell pads do you think I mean?]
[7/26/2013 9:28:54 AM] O’ Foxy: [I rolled a 5[
[7/26/2013 10:20:59 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Dammit… no triple musou.]
[7/27/2013 12:43:31 AM] O’ Foxy: 87 decides he’s going to attack him HEAD ON.
[7/27/2013 4:55:18 AM] Scurvyj: [Al does 5, Boozlebub does 1.] #87’s shot pings off the ruined window frame that Bund is using for partial cover. Too late, he brings his hands up to ward off #98’s three-part staff slamming him straight in the nugs.
[7/27/2013 4:56:35 AM] Scurvyj: #865 swings wildly from the back of the cycle, but it’s hard to get good aim. Still, your axe makes a shallow cut across his thigh
[7/27/2013 4:57:17 AM] Scurvyj: Bund looks thoroughly messed up, and you notice a little hitch in his giddyap
[7/27/2013 5:02:15 AM] Scurvyj: Just then, you hear a triumphant shout of “YEAH! GOT IT!” The third figure, a spiky-haired shape with the proportions and voice of a little kid steps partially out of cover, seeming to forget the vicious firefight/melee for a second
[7/27/2013 5:05:58 AM] Scurvyj: The pint-sized warrior, clad in dirty overalls and holding a large controller that looks like the love child of an R/C remote and aircraft controls, lets out a whoop as a small jet-powered electric blue VW Beetle rises up until it’s floating about level with the window
[7/27/2013 5:06:34 AM] Scurvyj: “RADICAL TED DOES IT AGAIN!” he gloats in the third person.
[7/27/2013 5:08:22 AM] Scurvyj: He spends his turn leaping into the driver’s seat as his companions cover him
[7/28/2013 10:19:00 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #98’s lips curl upward at the sight of the enthusiastic you boy. “Radical…” He bites down hard on the throttle, causing the Stichcyle to rev loudly.
[7/28/2013 10:19:08 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: young*
[7/30/2013 12:44:55 PM] Scurvyj: [#347, you’re up next. Also, just as a reminder, the shot counter is at http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/mook-to-mastermind/wikis/main-page
in case you guys ever want to check.]
[7/30/2013 12:47:19 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, just for future reference, if multiple players go on the same shot, you can tell me your actions in any order. I’ll resolve them in the order that they appear on the shot counter. This is what I did with #087, #098, and #865, and it seems to work okay.]
[7/30/2013 12:48:00 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, when my laptop’s cooling fan gets fixed, I plan to be a bear on deadlines again. Right now, I’m still jetlaggy, catching up on work stuff, and my lappy’s on the fritz, so it’d be hypocritical of me to impose deadlines when I can’t do it myself for the time being.]
[7/30/2013 12:48:49 PM] Scurvyj: [If anyone has any ideas to streamline combat, please let me know.]
[7/30/2013 12:51:43 PM] Scurvyj: #003’s whirls his machine gun emplacement around and aims at Radical Ted’s flying car, looking ready to put a few “speed holes” in it. Bund, wounded and barely clinging to life, sees his chance to escape, and gets ready to leap into the car. #596 and #963, studs that they are, are going to try to ram Dr. Sisyphus with their Stitchcycles before he gets any bright ideas about escaping.
[7/30/2013 12:52:38 PM] Scurvyj: [I do think that I can roll NPC actions ahead of time and keep them in the GM Only section, so that when the time comes to resolve actions, it just becomes a simple cut-and-paste.]
[7/30/2013 12:54:30 PM] Scurvyj: [Also, how do you guys feel about my showing all the die rolls and assorted other crunch in the Skype window? Should I keep doing it? Does it add to the game at all? Let me know!]
[7/30/2013 1:05:02 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Honestly, it’s neat to see the die rolls but we trust your math.]
[7/30/2013 1:20:25 PM] DrRobertson: [I enjoy seeing them. I've always been a big fan of rolling in the open. I actually really enjoy the excitement of reading them from left to right. He may have gotten a +5, but he can easily get -6, -5. It's rather enjoyable
[7/30/2013 1:46:04 PM] DrRobertson: #347 decides he’s going to take another shot at Dr. Syphilis Firearms = 4 Gods fucking dammit]
[7/30/2013 4:32:14 PM] Scurvyj: [Would it be better for me to show the hits but not the misses then?]
[7/30/2013 4:36:23 PM] Scurvyj: [Correction, #347: +3, -4, -3, Firearms = 1, good thing you didn't get a negative number!] #347, in the middle of your shot, time seems to slow down, and that sickening feeling from before returns, but much sharper and stronger this time. As cliche as it sounds, it feels like someone just walked over your grave. This causes you to jerk your hand at the last minute, and your shotgun blast narrowly misses #596 zipping by on his Stitchcycle. Just as quickly as the feeling came, it passes away, and you feel like yourself again.
[7/30/2013 4:36:47 PM] Scurvyj: [Fertility is a bitch, eh? At least you burned it on a Guns roll and not a Drive roll, and at least you didn’t fumble!]
[7/30/2013 4:37:56 PM] Scurvyj: [+4, -5, Guns = 9] #003 unloads on the flying car with his machine gun, but Ted presses a button and you notice a large rectangular folding panel pop out of the trunk, serving as a wall to deflect the bullets. #003 curses as he reloads. [+6, +2, -5, Martial Arts = 13] James Bund avoids the gauntlet of zinging bullets and speeding Stitchcycles, leaping somewhat awkwardly around the folding panel and through the open back window to take cover lying down in the back seat. [+4, -3, Drive = 4 / +6, +3, -5, Drive = 8] #596 and #963, studs that they are, realize at the last second that they both have the same plan, and they slam on the brakes at the last second to avoid slamming into each other head-on.
[7/30/2013 4:38:44 PM] Scurvyj: [Next batch of turns in about 30-40 minutes, when I get home from work. Cheers!]
[7/30/2013 5:07:11 PM | Edited 5:10:13 PM] Scurvyj: 4,-5, Firearms = 16] Dr. Sisyphus decides to finish the job he started earlier, and ricochets a bullet off the large, creepy Dr. Stitch face on the front of #596’s cycle, which nails him through the left eye. Their cycle, now riderless, plummets straight off the edge off the ruined office, and a few moments later, you hear a loud “BOOOOOMMM!” and see a flicker of flame from the street below. [Miss, and a miss] Being the only one not in the car, Dr. Sisyphus gets subjected to a tag-team attack by #351 and #956 on Cycle 3. #956 makes a heroic trail of bullets up to the good Dr., which #351 tries to follow for a ram attack, but Sisyphus leaps behind the trunk-shield and out of harm’s way.
[7/30/2013 5:08:59 PM | Edited 5:10:27 PM] Scurvyj: [For the sake of review…
Cycle 1 (#098 Drive / #087 Shoot) OKAY!
Cycle 2 (#347 Drive / #865 Shoot) OKAY!
Cycle 3 (#596 Drive / #191 Shoot) TOASTED
Cycle 4 (#351 Drive/ #956 Shoot) BUZZY AND SPARKY
Cycle XL (#963 Drive / #003 Shoot) OKAY!
…and yes, I needed to see it too.]
[7/30/2013 5:11:53 PM] Scurvyj: By the way, as #351 and #956 speed by for their combo attack, you notice that their bike is actually starting to emit small sparks and little jolts of lightning, in addition to the aforementioned buzzing sound, which is only getting louder. The two look at each other mid-ride, shrug, and get back to what they were doing.
[7/30/2013 5:13:10 PM] Scurvyj: [#087, #098, and #865 are up again. The game goes faster when I’m back on an actual computer and not on vacation, eh?]
[7/30/2013 8:14:36 PM] Boozlebub: #865 sees the man in the nice suit dive behind the big truck shield and narrows his eyes. He sees some computer equipment to the Dr.‘s back. He remembers earlier that day that there was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation on and assumes that all computers are volitile objects ready to explode given the slightest jostle. So he opens fine on the computer monitor behind Dr. Sisyphus.
[7/30/2013 8:15:22 PM] Boozlebub: [Scurvyj, you wanna roll this one? I gotta take Gretchen to work and my dice are vexing me.]
[7/30/2013 8:20:44 PM] Boozlebub: [They’re hiding around here somewhere, but I won’t have time to find them until I get home.]
[7/31/2013 4:28:51 AM] Scurvyj: [+1, -5, Firearms = 1. This is why you never let me roll for you!]
[7/31/2013 7:38:12 AM] Boozlebub: [Damn it. I figured that was going to happen. I’ll have them my the compy next time!]
[7/31/2013 11:06:52 AM] Scurvyj: [http://www.random.org , my friend. It’s what I use like, 95% of the time when I don’t have access to dice.]
[7/31/2013 11:08:03 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah, I was running out of time. Can’t have Gretchen late for work to find the dice.]
[7/31/2013 11:08:57 AM] Scurvyj: [Nah, I get ya. At the end of the day, in a Skype game like this, a die roll is a die roll, the same way that a mouth is a mouth. #087 and #098, you guys are up.]
[7/31/2013 1:58:55 PM] DrRobertson: [That website rolls better than I do]
[8/1/2013 2:12:23 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #98's smile gets much wider as he remembers one of his new toys. "BATTER UP!" He quickly pulls out his bat and a knife. He licks his finger and holds it up as if he knew how to test wind direction that way before pointing straight for Radical Ted. He tosses a knife up in the air and swings hard with the bat as it comes back down. [+6, -4, +6, +2 +Martial Arts = 20]
[8/1/2013 4:58:19 AM] Scurvyj: [That’d be a 16, but still awesome.]
[8/1/2013 4:58:57 AM] Boozlebub: #865 keeps on firing the StitchCycle™’s chaingun, missing the computer console he was aiming at simply because of the neat sound of the gun and the casings plinking on the ground aiming it up.
[8/1/2013 5:00:50 AM | Edited 5:00:57 AM] Scurvyj: [#347, you’re up.]
[8/1/2013 6:24:32 AM] DrRobertson: #347 intends to keep firing at the good doctor [+6,+3,-2,+Firearns = 12. You still need to subtract, let me know what it is and I can do it in the future]
[8/1/2013 8:00:59 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Hmm… shitty math skills…]
[8/1/2013 12:53:35 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay, flavor text to come in several hours; unfortunately, full class load this afternoon and lunch it 7 minutes from over.]
[8/1/2013 12:55:08 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh wait, didn’t see an action from Foxy. I’ll give you until I get home from work, otherwise I’ll assume you’re taking a shot at Dr. Sisyphus.]
[8/2/2013 5:11:40 AM] Scurvyj: [+5,-5, Guns = 6] #087 hammers Sisyphus with a shower of machine gun fire, but he stands firm behind his cover, and the bullets glance off the trunk shield harmlessly. [+6,+6,+2,-4, Martial Arts = 20] #098, however, smacks one of his knives with his baseball bat, and his Knifeball attack arcs over the shield just perfectly, and you hear a sharp, effeminate scream. [7 + 4 - 6 Toughness = 5 damage]. [+6,+3,-2, Guns = 12] #347 uses this opportunity to sneak his Stitchcycle around the side and cut loose with his shotgun, catching Sisyphus in the shoulder and blasting a bloody hole in his now-ruined loungewear. [10 + 0 - 6 Toughness = 4 damage, I think you need to reload after this.]
[8/2/2013 5:20:14 AM] Scurvyj: [+5, -2, Drive = 16] Radical Ted decides to try his hand at vehicular manslaughter. He presses some buttons, which causes the shield to retract into the trunk. Then, he fires up his flying car, whips it around, and rams it directly into the cycle being driven by #351 and #956. The effect is something like ramming tempered steel through balsa wood, only accompanied by a red plasma-style explosion that sprinkles all of you with a light dusting of low-quality plastic, strange eldritch energy, and chunks of what used to be your comrades. Fare thee well, you two.
[8/2/2013 5:22:30 AM] Scurvyj: [So here’s a little reminder…
Cycle 1 (#098 Drive / #087 Shoot) OKAY!
Cycle 2 (#347 Drive / #865 Shoot) OKAY!
Cycle 3 (#596 Drive / #191 Shoot) TOASTED
Cycle 4 (#351 Drive/ #956 Shoot) TOASTED
Cycle XL (#963 Drive / #003 Shoot) OKAY!
…and you can start shitting yourselves now.]
[8/2/2013 5:23:24 AM] Scurvyj: [Oh, wait. #347 was supposed to go on the next shot. Ah, well.]
[8/2/2013 5:24:13 AM] DrRobertson: [it’s fine man, move it if you have to]
[8/2/2013 5:24:40 AM] DrRobertson: [Or move it anyway, I’m all for things having run as they should. RULES LAWYER!]
[8/2/2013 5:27:44 AM] Scurvyj: [It doesn’t really change the outcome of this situation, so I’ll just let it go.] #003’s eyes narrow as he realizes most of his unit has been mowed down mercilessly by these intruders. “You think you can just barge into MY sweatshop, blow up MY office building, and gun down MY recruits?!?” He whips the machine gun around and aims it right at Sisyphus, who is now outside of cover. “BullSTITCH!”
[8/2/2013 5:27:54 AM] Boozlebub: [Oh, you don’t need to tell me to twice to shit myself. Already have been.]
[8/2/2013 5:31:03 AM] Boozlebub: [And someone’s going to have himself a big old flashback.]
[8/2/2013 5:38:34 AM] Scurvyj: [+3,-3, Guns = 10, not gonna do it.] As #003 prepares to go full auto, Dr. Sisyphus shoots one of the big flourescent bulbs above his head, which shatters and gets tiny chunks of powdered glass in #003's eyes, causing him to fire erratically and miss his target.
[8/2/2013 5:41:39 AM] Scurvyj: Jim Bund decides to lay low, and spends this shot moaning and bleeding in the back seat of the Beetle. #003 shouts at #963, "RUN THAT STITCHFACE DOWN!" and #963 complies [+2, -3, Drive = 5], but not very well
[8/2/2013 5:48:18 AM | Edited 5:50:55 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus’ eyes flash in anger, and he looks prepared to fight to the bitter end. “Bryon, get in, ya self-absorbed Byronic nutbag!” Radical Ted shouts. As the Beetle wheels around, Sisyphus shouts, “Take heed, you maladroit rapscallions. WE SHALL MEET AGAIN!” He jumps in through the open window face-first and bashes his head on the passenger side console. He mutters pretentious, GRE-word-laden curses and his legs kick comically out of the passenger side window as he struggles to sit upright.
[8/2/2013 5:54:12 AM] Scurvyj: “Sisyphus, you daft old codger!” Bund moans. “We already lost one today,” his breath nearly catches in his throat, “I’m not losing you too, old friend.”
[8/2/2013 5:54:24 AM] Scurvyj: [Oh yeah, and he spends another shot doing nothing.]
[8/2/2013 5:56:53 AM] Scurvyj: [#087, #098, and #865, you’re up next. This doesn’t officially turn into a car chase until Radical Ted starts trying to flee the area, so feel free to get some hits in while you can.]
[8/2/2013 6:04:08 AM] Scurvyj: [Also, I should probably update the wiki and blog this weekend. Anyway, off to grab breakfast. Later, gents!]
[8/2/2013 10:45:51 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #98 looks back at #87 and smiles gleefully. "READY?!" He aims the cycle right at the open window of the car. As he gets close, he hops up on the handle bars and pulls out his twin batons. He squeezes the brakes with his feet, launching himself directly at Bund in the backseat. [+5, -1, +6 Martial Arts = 10]
[8/2/2013 11:39:54 AM] Scurvyj: [That totally gets a cool action bonus, and now I have to decide if you’re rolling against a flat stunt difficulty or against Ted’s Driving score.]
[8/2/2013 2:27:46 PM] Boozlebub: #865 is bathed in the blood of his dead comrades heartbeat He sees himself. Oddly sitting in a StitchCycle… But cruder. His hands smaller. Is it a StitchCycle? No, but the gun feels similar. Familiar. His roomies dead, his friends… Were they his friends in that cycle? Did he even know them? The throbbing engine, the casings plinking against the ground all feel too familiar. The flailing legs and butt in the back seat present a far too familiar target. Crippling a member of the other team worked just as good as killing. Either way, they were FunFood. #865 pulls the trigger.
[8/2/2013 2:29:07 PM] Boozlebub: [6-3+5+Guns – 13? Maybe? My math sucks and it’s fucking late]
[8/2/2013 2:31:22 PM] Boozlebub: [If I wasn’t clear, he wants to give Doc Sisyphus a hot lead enema]
[8/2/2013 2:54:08 PM] Scurvyj: [Yep, you were right, and I’ll also give you a cool action bonus for the flashback.]
[8/2/2013 2:56:43 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay, Al, I decided that you will make a Martial Arts check against a Driving check made by Ted. Good luck!]
[8/2/2013 2:59:24 PM] Scurvyj: [+2,-6,-5, Driving = 4. I seriously wish I'd taken a video of that roll.] Radical Ted is too wrapped up in activating the getaway booster on his flying car to notice you barrelling into the side of the vehicle, so much to everyone's shock (especially Bund, who is suddenly fending off a faceful of lunatic), you're in.
[8/2/2013 3:02:18 PM] Scurvyj: [#087, you should definitely bail out before the impact. If these cycles were any flimsier, they’d be origami.]
[8/3/2013 6:26:18 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Or flip around and take over the controls if you’re fast enough.]
[8/3/2013 8:03:46 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright, I let Fox know that the game has been going again, because I’m not sure if he’s aware. DrRobertson, if you could let him know too, that’d be awesome.]
[8/3/2013 8:41:29 AM] O’ Foxy: ( I’m aware, just overwhelmed.)
[8/4/2013 12:35:48 AM] O’ Foxy: #87 was screaming as the car headed towards an aburpt stop, so while maintaining his girlish scream he fumbled with the door lock, and once he’d forced it open, he’d try to duck and roll out of the car. (5+ 4 (move?))
[8/4/2013 12:42:32 AM] O’ Foxy: [Nevermind, I realized my error.]
[8/4/2013 12:43:24 AM] O’ Foxy: Decides against bailing, and once he was half-way out, he decides to Agent Smith it to the roof of the car.
[8/4/2013 5:38:47 PM] Scurvyj: Just before impact, #087 leaps off the cycle and lands on top of the flying car with a loud THUD. (9 damage + 1 cool – 6 Tough = 4 damage) #098 goes flying right through the open window, his body slamming into Bund’s with a great deal of force. “Not again…” he chokes out, as he now struggles to extract himself of the psychopath. (16 damage – 7 Tough = 9 damage) Sisyphus shrieks as #865 gives him a load of lead up the fudge tunnel.
[8/4/2013 5:44:25 PM] Scurvyj: Seemingly oblivious to the immediate carnage, Ted gleefully shouts, “okay, here goes!” and presses a big red button. You all hear an ominous WHHHHHHIIIIIRR, then suddenly, the car shoots forward off the blasted edge of the office building, into the early-evening suburban sky. #087, you are digging your fingers into the edge of the windshield and hanging on for dear life.
[8/4/2013 5:49:32 PM] Scurvyj: #347 and #865, you see the car beeline for the window, and as it hits the edge, you notice it doesn’t fly in a straight line, more like a diagonal downward float. It barely clears the perimeter fence and lands very roughly on the street, where it continues to drive forward at a moderate pace.
[8/4/2013 5:51:28 PM] Scurvyj: #963 blinks confusedly, like he’s not quite sure how he’s still alive. He shrugs at the two of you, then swivels around to face #003.
[8/4/2013 5:54:24 PM] Scurvyj: #003’s usual bravado seems to be on hold as he assesses the situation. Finally, he sighs deeply and says, “we probably shouldn’t leave those two. I’m going after ‘em. You guys have already gone above and beyond today. I’m gonna leave it up to you if you wanna come with.”
[8/4/2013 5:56:14 PM] Scurvyj: #963’s face lights up in relief. #003 notices and growls, “not you, pinhead. You’re with me.” #963 wilts noticably.
[8/4/2013 5:58:21 PM] Scurvyj: [#347, as the driver, it’s your call. You and #865 can discuss, though. Not too long—this is one of those “dramatic pause for exposition” moments.]
[8/4/2013 9:40:36 PM] Boozlebub: The camera zooms in towards #865’s eyes. his pupils become dialated. In rapid succession, stock photography of horrendous things flashes quickly with just a rough cut. A dead badger, a younger 865 feeding corpses into a grinder labeled "Fun Food™, him holding Hopsy the Happy Bunny in a room covered in viscera, the inside of the Fun Pit with him beating a crocodile to death with Hopsy, an older boy in the orphanarium giving a far better looking Hopsy to 865. The images look onto themselves repeating in oddly staggered orders. Then black as 865 quietly says “enough.”
[8/4/2013 11:07:29 PM] DrRobertson: “I always enjoyed #087’s general wit and demeanor. I don’t think we should be leaving anyone behind if we can help it, we’d all be dead by this point had one of us not been there.” #347 says, as he revs his engine and gives a distinct nod followed by a wink to #003 “Fuck common sense and fuck my Ivy League education, let’s do this!” as he releases the brake and takes off after the car
[8/4/2013 11:08:56 PM] Boozlebub: With a sigh of relief, #865 replies with a “Let’s do this!”
[8/4/2013 11:23:20 PM] DrRobertson: [actually at this juncture, if there’s a spare Stitchycle™, you may want to be driving it so we actually have space to grab both of them
[8/4/2013 11:23:39 PM] DrRobertson: [I mean that in regards to #865]
[8/4/2013 11:26:21 PM] Boozlebub: #865 looks around the wartorn landscape, surveying the destroyed StitchCycles, looking for another cycle that can be used… or salvaged.
[8/4/2013 11:33:24 PM] DrRobertson: [I think 2 are done, and there’s may have been fucked when they let loose. If we can fit 3 on a StitchCycle™, then it’s not an issue as we should have enough room altogether]
[8/4/2013 11:34:51 PM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. I figured that much, too but I figured why not check to be certain. After all, we’re doing a daring rescue. What kind of daring rescue would it be if we end up trapping ourselves as well… Aside from a typical daring rescue.]
[8/4/2013 11:36:15 PM] DrRobertson: [If we can fit the three on a bike, then it’s better to do that as someone can operate the mounted gun on the back. If we need the extra space, then we have to take have the guns unmanned.]
[8/4/2013 11:45:13 PM] Boozlebub: [Yeah. I’m not pleased with the thought of it…]
[8/4/2013 11:53:39 PM] Boozlebub: [Drat. There’s no Street Fighter the RPG in the game system listings. :(
[8/4/2013 11:56:13 PM] Scurvyj: [You can list it as “Other” I think.]
[8/5/2013 12:00:16 AM] Scurvyj: [I will say that #003 and #963 are not going to triple up, and there is indeed #087 and #098’s Stitchcycle, still running, tipped over on the ground.]
[8/5/2013 3:44:15 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Leans in real close to Bund and bares his teeth, covered in dried human blood before sliding a baton down into the waist band of his pants. “Was it good for you too?” [+3 -2 +5 Intimidation = 6]
[8/5/2013 3:45:02 AM] DrRobertson: [This should be entertaining]
[8/5/2013 3:45:32 AM] DrRobertson: [“Oh shi… hey wait a minute, you’re just a mook!”]
[8/5/2013 3:45:51 AM] DrRobertson: [“Hey guys, this guys just some mook!”]
[8/5/2013 2:05:55 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Just a hypothetical but how long do I have to sit out if I get myself killed?]
[8/5/2013 6:03:53 PM | Edited 6:04:08 PM] Scurvyj: [First one to die gets dibs on #963, anyone after that has to wait until we go back to HQ (aka StitchQ)]
[8/5/2013 6:06:55 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh, and Al, you’re out of shots, but thanks for the laughs]
[8/5/2013 6:10:49 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay #347 and #865, what’s the plan?]
[8/5/2013 6:12:58 PM] Scurvyj: [Last thing you said in-game was that you’re going after them, so I’m sticking with that?]