Mook to Mastermind
#347, #003 is shocked to see you taking the lead and driving off the edge, particularly since he never told you about the Auto Drive features…
[8/5/2013 6:20:08 PM] Scurvyj: The recorded voice of Dr. Stitch cuts in with an exasperated sigh, “now, THREE! FOUR! SEVEN! what did we say about driving off ledges? I suppose I’ll help out… this time.”
[8/5/2013 6:26:10 PM] Scurvyj: “GYROSCOPIC GRAVITY DRIVE ENGAGED!” You feel a sharp jerk as the bike is slammed into the side of the building, then suddenly you’re driving down the wall with no problem. The bike picks up speed, screaming directly at a convenient wooden plank that someone left leaning up against some crates. This, of course, launches you over the fence and onto the road.
[8/5/2013 6:26:25 PM] Scurvyj: The chase is on!
[8/5/2013 6:32:21 PM] Scurvyj: Bund’s gloves crackle with electricity, and he grins through bloodied teeth. “Past your bedtime, you bloody psycho. Back to the padded room with you!” He uses his Secret Agent Kung-Fu to palm smash you in the face.
[8/5/2013 6:36:54 PM] Scurvyj: [+5,-4,+5 Fortune,-2 Impair, Martial Arts = 15, lights out, Hannibal.] You briefly catch a whiff of burning hair before your whole body explodes in pain, just like that time you tried chewing on that big string of Christmas lights in Central Park.
[8/5/2013 6:37:32 PM] Scurvyj: [Stungloves are non-lethal, so you’re just KO’d for now.]
[8/5/2013 6:38:31 PM] Scurvyj: [Alright folks, new sequence. Full car chase rules in effect. Let’s see those initiatives!]
[8/5/2013 6:57:45 PM] Boozlebub: [Rolled a 4 so I think #865 is on a 8?]
[8/5/2013 10:46:51 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Yeah, I thought that’d give you a giggle.]
[8/5/2013 10:55:51 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [I rolled a 5. So that be a 9, I believe.]
[8/6/2013 6:15:12 AM] DrRobertson: [I rolled a 2, so 6]
[8/6/2013 6:16:26 AM] DrRobertson: [I’d actually like to reload my shotgun. If I can do that whilst driving then that’s great. Other than that, I really just intend to go after them. How far away are they? I suppose if it’s reasonable I’ll just pay attention to driving and have #865 fire shots at them.]
[8/6/2013 6:20:30 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [You could just beat them with it.]
[8/6/2013 7:34:46 AM] Scurvyj: [You can’t quite see them, but because this is an action movie, you just happen to pick the correct street and start tearing down the road toward them.]
[8/6/2013 7:42:46 AM] Scurvyj: [Fox, I rolled up a 9 for ya.]
[8/6/2013 7:45:07 AM] Scurvyj: #003 starts cursing at #963, yelling at him to go faster, and since he values the use of his legs (or maybe in spite of that fact), he does. The Stitchcycle XL zooms ahead until it’s within sight of the electric blue Bug, which is currently tearing down a main road in the direction of a highway on-ramp.
[8/6/2013 7:47:42 AM] Scurvyj: "EAT LEAD, HERBIE!" he screams, firing the machine gun angrily at the Bug and trying to shoot out the tires. [+2,-4, Called Shot -3, Guns = NOPE] #963's terrible driving, characterized by excessive weaving and start-stop twitching, throws off #003's shots, which earns him a smack in the back of his standard-issue mook helmet.
[8/6/2013 7:57:21 AM] Scurvyj: Bund, who has been perforated with bullet holes, bashed in the nethers, and even bitten, is staring at the unconscious body of #098 with a strange mixture of relief and psychotic glee. “Well, friend, looks like we finally get some quality time alone,” he murmurs, slowly drawing a small folding knife from his jacket. He pantomimes drawing at across your throat, gouging out your eyes, slicing off your ears, repeating the same series of motions over and over again like a mantra, getting faster and faster with each repetition. “She was different from the others, you know. Simple. Pure. I don’t expect you to understand.”
[8/6/2013 7:57:41 AM] Scurvyj: He stops, gripping the knife until his knuckles turn white.
[8/6/2013 7:57:53 AM] Scurvyj: “But I do expect you to suffer.”
[8/6/2013 7:59:43 AM] Scurvyj: #098, you see a bit of blood splatter against the inside of the rear window, followed by another, and then several others.
[8/6/2013 8:00:37 AM] Boozlebub: [Gutsman just shouted in a Macho Man voice… ‘Cause I think Shit did indeed just get real.]
[8/6/2013 8:03:39 AM] Scurvyj: Radical Ted, who is, again, completely oblivious to the Reservoir Dogs-style scenario playing out in the back seat (when Bund started talking, he simply turned up the radio, which is playing the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited” at the moment), whips a sharp left turn to get this car on the highway ramp.
[8/6/2013 8:05:31 AM] Boozlebub: [Foxy, if there’s a time to roll AWESOME, I would say your next action is it! We’re doing awesome so far, but damn!]
[8/6/2013 8:06:45 AM] Scurvyj: [+3,-3,+1 Pep, +1 Lead, Driving = 15, 1st Escape Roll Successful!] With a spray of gravel chunks and road dust, Ted takes the curve with the grace of an F1 driver. Even on the Stitchcycles, you guys have a hard team keeping up with his manueverability. That Bug doesn't have a lot of horsepower, but this baby can take the turns.
[8/6/2013 8:09:14 AM] Boozlebub: [Please tell me that our helmets have a sort of deadman switch to whatever comm bullshit we may have… or that we don’t have any comm equimpent…]
[8/6/2013 8:10:01 AM | Edited 8:10:17 AM] Scurvyj: #003, clenching his teeth until they’re ready to crack, continues to pump some rounds into the Bug, attempting to blow out the tires once again. 5,-1, Called Shot – 3, Guns = 17] The whole car lurches, and Ted scrambles to regain control as one of the tires is shredded by machine gun fire. #087, you’re almost thrown off the top as the whole vehicle lurches; your fingertips are starting to bleed from digging in so long
[8/6/2013 8:11:49 AM] Scurvyj: [Oh, you’re quite sure that this whole debacle has been recorded from the start, for performance review purposes.]
[8/6/2013 8:12:17 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright, #087, time to be a hero.]
[8/6/2013 8:12:58 AM] Boozlebub: [Come on, Foxy! BIG DAMN HEROES! Let’s A-Team the fuck out of these shits!]
[8/6/2013 8:15:08 AM] Scurvyj: [Oh yeah, and just so you don’t forget: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQqwG_rQx7A ]
[8/6/2013 8:23:13 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [So, I should assume that I’m basically fucked?]
[8/6/2013 8:50:51 AM] O’ Foxy: 87 found a moment of zen-like calm as his numbed fingers clung desperately. He knew he couldn’t hold on long enough for the vehicle to stop, so gee had to try something before he fell into a crippled-coma, he tries to pull a matrix style move, but immediately regrets not being the Chosen One. Instead he pulls his gin out, and makes an aren’t to shoot out the front wheel from the side (tool will be made at home, our if you want to move this along you can roll for me.)
[8/6/2013 8:51:36 AM] O’ Foxy: Pulls his gun out*
[8/6/2013 8:51:54 AM] O’ Foxy: Roll will be *
[8/6/2013 9:51:50 AM] Scurvyj: [+6,+5,-2, Guns = 15, I assume you'll want to use my roll? :) ]
[8/6/2013 9:54:25 AM] Boozlebub: [BIG! DAMN! HEROES!!!]
[8/6/2013 9:54:43 AM] Scurvyj: You all hear a single loud POP as #087 fires a single shot into one of the front tires, which then proceeds to get shredded on the pavement. Once again, Ted's expert driving skill allows him to maintain control of the vehicle, but only barely. [Since the book doesn't specify how many times you can do the tire shoot-out stunt, I'll say twice. I mean, this car went from +1 Pep to -1, that's about as good as it's gonna get.]
[8/6/2013 9:55:45 AM] Scurvyj: Bund spends his action continuing to go all Mr. Blond on #098 in the back seat.
[8/6/2013 9:55:52 AM] Scurvyj: [#865, you’re up.]
[8/6/2013 9:56:56 AM] Boozlebub: [Safe to assume we hear shit through intercom or something? Like we heard Bund’s bullshit?]
[8/6/2013 9:57:41 AM] Scurvyj: [Nah, it’s an action movie, so there was a camera cut to the inside of the car, but it was one of those omniscient narrator cuts that your characters can’t see.]
[8/6/2013 9:58:12 AM] Boozlebub: [Okay then. Had to figure out just how I was gonna narrate and do the decision. Here we go!]
[8/6/2013 9:58:35 AM] Boozlebub: [It’s mostly the targeting decision.]
[8/6/2013 9:59:10 AM] Scurvyj: [Your action movie senses tell you that some kind of struggle is going on in the car, and you see #087 on top trying to sabotage, so you assume someone’s in trouble.]
[8/6/2013 9:59:34 AM] Scurvyj: [Also, I’ve been calculating the Wreck of the car, and you guys have been doing quite a bit of damage to it so far.]
[8/6/2013 10:00:34 AM] Scurvyj: [You figure that, since the damn thing semi-flies, it’s unlikely to be armored in any way aside from the trunk-shield.]
[8/6/2013 10:01:59 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [How long does a stun last? Or is it a dramatic effect thing? Feeling pretty useless at the moment…]
[8/6/2013 10:02:55 AM] Scurvyj: [Finally, since I’m throwing quite a few helpful GM hint bubbles at you, here’s one more: check the Car Chase Rules Summary here if you want ideas. http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/mook-to-mastermind/wikis/carchase]
[8/6/2013 10:03:18 AM] Scurvyj: [You're a mook and he hit you at +5 nonfatally; you're out until the end of the scene.]
[8/6/2013 10:03:45 AM] Scurvyj: [I’ll let you temporarily run #963 if you’re feeling bored.]
==[8/6/2013 10:06:08 AM] Boozlebub: #865 is jostled around in the StitchCycle. What it has in pep and everything, it really does not have in providing a steady firing platform. He struggles to get the gun’s crosshairs on the driver. All of the sparce color exits his already pasty skin, he clenches his eyes closed and pulls the trigger. “NO MORE!BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO THE CAPTURED! NO NO NO!!!” [6+5-2+Guns of 5=14… Here goes nothing…]==
[8/6/2013 10:06:50 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Damn… Oh well. I’ll be watching Netflix if anybody needs me.]
[8/6/2013 11:05:44 AM] DrRobertson: [ http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/mook-to-mastermind/wikis/carchase The last brack has to be removed]
[8/6/2013 11:06:06 AM] DrRobertson: [It’s fine now, but when Jer linked it it includes the bracket, something we should keep in mind for links]
[8/6/2013 11:23:56 AM] Scurvyj: [Ah, good catch. Normally I remember to put a space in so that doesn’t happen; must have forgotten this time.]
[8/6/2013 11:24:14 AM] DrRobertson: [It’s all good!]
[8/6/2013 11:28:06 AM] Scurvyj: #865, you take aim and start firing on Radical Ted. Luckily for him, he snaps out of his usual obliviousness and notices at the last second that you’re gunning for him, so he ducks and drives the car blind as you completely shatter the driver’s side window and most of the window with machine gun fire. Some of your shots punch through the hood, and you notice a thin trickle of black smoke starting to come out of the car.
[8/6/2013 11:28:32 AM] Scurvyj: [I ruled that, since it was a near miss, you didn’t tag Ted, but instead hit the vehicle and did some Wreck damage.]
[8/6/2013 11:30:33 AM] Boozlebub: [That works. I knew it was going to be close. I’m just glad it wasn’’t so damned sad that I ended up tagging a friendly.]
[8/6/2013 11:30:42 AM] O’ Foxy: 87 screams wildly, and almost enjoyably on top of the car as #865 shoots in his general direction.
[8/6/2013 11:31:22 AM] Scurvyj: The chase has now moved to the highway, where the Bug has taken a commanding lead; now that you’re weaving through the occasional patch of traffic, it’s becoming much harder to keep the car in sight. Ted takes this opportunity to jump his car over the divider and starts driving on the other side of the highway, which draws several angry honks and colorful curses from the other drivers on the road
[8/6/2013 11:32:50 AM] O’ Foxy: [In honor of moving to the highway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvFpjquc3cc]
[8/6/2013 11:32:59 AM] Scurvyj: [+3,-5, Pep -1, Driving = 10, still good enough. 2nd Escape Roll successful!] You have the feeling that, if he pulls another move like that, you guys could lose sight of him for good
[8/6/2013 11:34:39 AM] Scurvyj: #003 shouts, “EAT LEAD, EINSTEIN!” and blasts the Bug with another series of rounds.
[8/6/2013 11:38:19 AM] Scurvyj: [+2,-6,-1, Guns = 5] A bee flies into his helmet, and as he punches himself in the head wildly to get it out, the shots go completely awry, blasting the trailer hitch of a large semi (with an ad for Knockers restaurant on the side--delightfully bouncy, yet understuffed), which causes it to come loose. The trailer turns sideways before tumbling, end over end, causing all sorts of collateral damage as it smashes in cars and generally makes a mess of the highway
[8/6/2013 11:41:51 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus is finally able to right himself, and he immediately notices the smoke rising up out of the front of the car. “My friend,” he says to Ted, “it seems that our conveyance is in a bit of a predicament! Perhaps we should abscond forthwith to the nearest emergency rendezvous point!”
[8/6/2013 11:42:07 AM] Scurvyj: Ted blinks at him confusedly, still covered in bits of broken glass.
[8/6/2013 11:43:34 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus sighs. “The extraction point? The safe place? As the ragamuffins on the playground say, goul?” At this last one, Ted seems to understand. He changes course, suddenly taking the car off-road.
[8/6/2013 11:44:08 AM] Scurvyj: He becomes aware of the whoops and screams that #087 is letting out as he sees his life flash before his eyes at 60 mph
[8/6/2013 11:44:46 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY
[8/6/2013 11:45:51 AM] Scurvyj: “Ah, an interloper! Well, I shall cleanse this motorcoach of you like the proverbial insect you are!” With that, he presses the button for the washer fluid, which, since this car has been modified by a Techie, comes spraying out with the force of a small fire hose
[8/6/2013 11:46:41 AM] Scurvyj: [I don’t even know what to make you roll for this… hmm.]
[8/6/2013 11:46:57 AM] O’ Foxy: [I’ll roll them all.]
[8/6/2013 11:47:21 AM] Scurvyj: [Fox, give me a Guns roll to see if you can shoot your way out of this problem.]
[8/6/2013 11:48:08 AM] Boozlebub: [Well, shooting the wipers may just help…]
[8/6/2013 11:48:34 AM] Scurvyj: [Or the generic “put a bullet where the problem is coming from” solution]
[8/6/2013 11:51:32 AM] Scurvyj: [I’m treating this like an environmental hazard with a flat difficulty, and he spent his shot activating it, kinda like a trap. Just so you know, the difficulty is 9, modified down from 10 because the car is on its last legs, so it’s kinda like having Impairment]
[8/6/2013 11:51:58 AM | Edited 11:52:03 AM] Scurvyj: [You’ll still get your normal action after this; this is just a defensive action.]
[8/6/2013 11:52:36 AM] Scurvyj: [So hopefully you can roll at least a 9 so you don’t take a tumble]
[8/6/2013 11:55:19 AM] O’ Foxy: [Alright one moment]
[8/6/2013 11:56:20 AM] O’ Foxy: [7 + 3 = 10 for my roll]
[8/6/2013 11:56:33 AM] DrRobertson: [OH FUCK!]
[8/6/2013 11:56:59 AM] Boozlebub: [SUCK IT, Ghetto-ass Dr. Orpheus!]
[8/6/2013 11:57:11 AM] O’ Foxy: [Oh God yes, I love barely adequate.]
[8/6/2013 11:57:22 AM] Scurvyj: You manage to duck your head out of the way just in time to avoid taking an eyeful of high-pressure washer solution
[8/6/2013 11:58:01 AM] Scurvyj: [Okay, #087, #347, and #963 are up.]
[8/6/2013 11:58:16 AM] Scurvyj: [I have to go. Lunch and teaching await. Until next time!]
[8/6/2013 11:58:37 AM] O’ Foxy: [Have a good day.]
[8/6/2013 11:58:46 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Later.]
[8/6/2013 11:59:12 AM] Boozlebub: [Later]
[8/6/2013 12:12:27 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Can I get stats and inventory for #963?]
[8/6/2013 12:38:57 PM] Scurvyj: [4 BOD, 5 REF, 4 MND, 6 Martial Arts / Guns / Driving, he’s got a combat knife and a revolver.]
[8/6/2013 12:40:34 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Brilliant. I can work with that.]
[8/6/2013 11:47:03 PM] Scurvyj: [His true power has been unleashed!]
[8/6/2013 11:47:28 PM] Scurvyj: [His true power has been taken off the leash!]
[8/6/2013 11:48:06 PM] Scurvyj: [His true power has been activated!]
[8/6/2013 11:48:50 PM] Scurvyj: [His true… his…]
[8/7/2013 8:35:13 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: Accelerates the Stichcycle XL and rides up onto the divider to avoid the chaos on the highway. 963 brings the bike up next to to bug and rides back down, trying to take the lead. [+6 +4 -3 +3 Pep +6 Drive = 16]
[8/7/2013 11:25:41 AM] Scurvyj: [Anyway, #087, #347, and #963 are up; I’m still working on getting my lappy fixed. Apparently, a 5-year old Toshiba is considered “obsolete” and is no longer supported. That’s a shame, because I need to squeeze at least one more year out of that thing.]
[8/7/2013 11:27:25 AM] Scurvyj: [Congratulations, the Stitchcycle XL has just taken the Lead! Insert Halo joke here.]
[8/7/2013 1:22:59 PM] DrRobertson: [I want to setup a nice shot for #865, how do I go about doing it? Ideally I’d like to pull up next to them, and have him be able to fire point blank at the drivers face]
[8/7/2013 5:10:42 PM] Scurvyj: [Hmmm… unofficial rule for assists… think, Scurvyj…]
[8/7/2013 5:12:40 PM] Scurvyj: [Let's say it costs 3 shots to add a +3 to a teammate's skill. Also, I'll stipulate that there's a roll involved. Roll Driving, make sure to add +3 for Pep.]
[8/8/2013 12:49:48 AM] DrRobertson: [+5 -4 +3Pep +5 Drive = 9. Well, I tried]
[8/8/2013 9:45:36 AM] Scurvyj: [Close, but not quite. #865, just looking for an action from you. #347 tried to wheel you into a good position to shoot, but it’s hard with all the traffic whipping by. You can still try to shoot normally, though.]
[8/8/2013 9:51:37 AM] Boozlebub: #865 sees the cars whip by, moving so quickly that they barely are noticable. He starts to not pay attention to the cars, instead he keeps his eyes on his target. He can’t pay any mind to the distractions, so when he lines up a shot at the car, he will pull the trigger. [5-2+guns… So 13]
[8/8/2013 9:52:22 AM] Boozlebub: I suck at math.
[8/8/2013 9:52:27 AM] Boozlebub: 
[8/8/2013 9:52:31 AM] Boozlebub: [8, that is]
[8/8/2013 9:55:16 AM] Scurvyj: [I’m also waiting for an action from #087. Sorry, my fault]
[8/8/2013 12:16:21 PM] O’ Foxy: [Mine as well, reading now.]
[8/8/2013 8:30:34 PM] Scurvyj: [Lappy’s fixed, new cooling pad did the trick.]
[8/8/2013 8:30:46 PM] Scurvyj: […and now my Enter key is binding up.]
[8/8/2013 9:02:39 PM] Scurvyj: [Alright, that’s a wiki update. Another one to come, but later.]
[8/9/2013 12:59:21 AM] O’ Foxy: #87 decides to stand his ground atop the moving vehicle. After narrowly dodging a soapy demise he points the gun down towards the roof of the car, blasting off rounds into the driving compartment below.
[8/9/2013 12:59:34 AM] O’ Foxy: [Sorry for the delay, last night was a mess.]
[8/11/2013 11:37:41 PM] Scurvyj: [+4,-1, Guns = 9] #087, you fire off shots wildly, and even though you put several holes in Radical Ted's neon green tiger-print headliner, you don't do much real damage to the car. #347 keeps trying to get into good position for a clear shot, but Ted keeps weaving through traffic, making it hard to do so. However, with #087 making so much of a ruckus, they don't notice #963 sneaking around, and by the time they do, he's already cut them off in the Stitchcycle XL. Instead of continuing on the highway, you force the car onto the exit ramp that leads to Clybourne Park (a.k.a. Makeout Point). #347, finally seeing your opening, you gets as close as you dare and give #865 the signal to fire
[8/11/2013 11:40:45 PM] Scurvyj: As the hustle and bustle of the highway gives way to the beautiful pastoral setting of Clybourne Park, with its sprawling green fields and unkempt meadows full of small woodland creatures and chirping insects, #865, you’re momentarily caught up in the warmth and sentimentality of the scene. Perhaps it evokes an earlier, simpler time, or perhaps it’s the first time you’ve been from concrete, metal, and flourescent hospital-style lighting for a long time.
[8/11/2013 11:43:53 PM] Scurvyj: However, #347’s voice, punctuated by the roar of engines, cuts through your waking dream, and you decide to let these bastards have it. You know, for the chipmunks. Once again, the shots you aim at the driver go completely wild, and you continue to tear up the side of the Bug. At this point, the action freezes, and the camera swoops down, penetrating the paint and metal and going into the internals of the car. You see a single bullet, entering from off-camera, smash into the steering column in slow motion, the sound reverberating with excessive bass.
[8/11/2013 11:44:42 PM] Scurvyj: One more quick camera swoop-out, and Ted’s calm, somewhat goofy face suddenly explodes into panic as he completely loses control of the vehicle
[8/11/2013 11:48:14 PM] Boozlebub: [Whoops. Foxy, I hope you have clamps instead of hands… Or are damn good at rolling.]
[8/11/2013 11:51:43 PM] Scurvyj: The Bug spins out of control, skittering across a small parking area like a sideways bottle rocket with the stick snapped off, punctuated by the screams of the vehicle's occupants, before smashing abruptly into a safety railing. [+5, -2, Fortune = 3, not dead, thankfully]. #087, the impact tears you from the top of the car and sends you tumbling into the ravine, which is a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that it's a gentle slope littered with jagged rocks that help to slow down your velocity and break your fall. The bad news is that they also break your arms and legs, so I hope you're okay with being in traction for a while.
[8/11/2013 11:56:37 PM] Scurvyj: Radical Ted and Dr. Sisyphus both slam face-first into the airbags that deploy exactly as designed, and since they’re both wearing their seatbelts, no major harm is done. James Bund, however, is caught completely by surprise mid-psychotic monologue, and he is thrown right over the center console, his head smashing through the radio (cutting off Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy” in the process)
[8/11/2013 11:58:33 PM] Scurvyj: #098, thankfully, is already unconscious, so ragdoll physics work to his advantage here, although it’s still not clear what kind of condition he’s in. The four of you wheel your Stitchcycles into the parking area, which is eerily quiet after all the carnage.
[8/11/2013 11:59:23 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay guys, combat’s suspended for now. What’s everyone going to do?]
[8/12/2013 8:00:42 AM] Scurvyj: [Also, THE CLAMPS!]
[8/12/2013 8:11:15 AM] Scurvyj: [It’s gonna be clamp this, clamp that. Bada-climp, bada-clamp!]
[8/12/2013 8:16:35 AM] O’ Foxy: [Yeah man, I’m fine with being all broken.]
[8/12/2013 8:16:39 AM] O’ Foxy: [ http://imgur.com/h6r98ge ]
[8/12/2013 8:17:45 AM] Scurvyj: [You may pass and go… just GO!!!!]
[8/12/2013 8:18:06 AM] DrRobertson: [GO!]
[8/12/2013 8:19:25 AM] DrRobertson: [Wait, so do we know #087 is safe?]
[8/12/2013 8:19:37 AM] DrRobertson: [You know what, fuck it]
[8/12/2013 8:20:23 AM] Scurvyj: [You see him fall down the ravine, and that’s it.]
[8/12/2013 8:23:00 AM] O’ Foxy: [Thats all you need to know.]
[8/12/2013 8:23:48 AM] DrRobertson: #347 jumps off the Stitchcycle™ “Check on #098 #865, I’m going to find #087” he says as he begins sprinting off towards the ravine “Oh, and do try to be careful” he adds as a last moment thought.
[8/12/2013 8:38:40 AM] Scurvyj: #347, as you pass the Bug, you notice that a lot of smoke is pouring out of there, and there’s a lot of groans and muttering from inside. You make it to the edge of the ravine and spot #087 lying on the bottom with his limbs twisted at impossible angles, though it’s hard to tell from here exactly how he’s doing. You think you could make it to the bottom without injury if you take it slow, but you’ll need to be especially careful since, with the sun going down, it’s a bit hard to see clearly
[8/12/2013 8:43:52 AM] Scurvyj: The Stitchcycle XL wheels up, and #003 slowly swivels the gun to point at the Bug. His jaw is set firmly, his finger is on the trigger, and he looks ready to open fire at any sign of movement. “PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW!” he bellows at the people inside the Bug.
[8/12/2013 8:56:32 AM] Scurvyj: The passenger side door of the Bug opens, slowly. You see the slender hands of Dr. Sisyphus, who is bruised, battered, and with a rather tender posterior, as he slowly stands up and turns to face the three of you. After a while, Radical Ted follows suit, his spiky hair looking matted and his face covered with soot and small cuts from the broken glass.
[8/12/2013 8:59:31 AM] Scurvyj: “Gentlemen, we graciously acknowledge our defeat, and commend you on an exemplary pursuit!” Dr. Sisyphus says amiably.
[8/12/2013 9:48:56 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #963 raises a brow and slowly draws his revolver, keeping one hand on the controls. He whispers back to #003, “I don’t trust fancy-pants over there.”
[8/12/2013 11:43:33 AM] Scurvyj: “You declared war on us, killed most of our unit, and caused millions of dollars in damages that’s going to cut into our paychecks, and the best you can do is ‘good game, guys’? I should wax you right now,” #003 grins, showing some fierce-looking canines, “but I’m not that nice. Your third man, where is he?”
[8/12/2013 11:45:10 AM] Scurvyj: The two of them look at each other, and both stumble over their words to answer at once. #003 responds by unloading a barrage of bullets on the ground in front of them. “GET HIM OUT HERE! THE GUY YOU CAPTURED! GET HIM OUT HERE TOO!”
[8/12/2013 11:46:17 AM] Scurvyj: “Well, you see, Mr. Bund is a bit… err… incapacitated at the moment, and your friend, well, it’s a funny story, that…”
[8/12/2013 11:46:22 AM] Scurvyj: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
[8/12/2013 11:50:19 AM] Scurvyj: “Okay! Going… going… Ted, err, stay here, I’m going to fetch them presently.” Sisyphus slowly goes in through the passenger side door and fumbles with the seat release for a bit. “You know, they never… ugh… seem to make these mechanisms… ack… all that intuitive…” #003 all but rolls his eyes, and Ted finally gives him instructions. With a grunt of effort, Sisyphus produces a very beaten and unconscious Jim Bund, whom he lays down on the pavement, being slow enough in his movements not to get shot, but not slow enough to piss off the guys with the guns.
[8/12/2013 11:52:58 AM] Scurvyj: Sisyphus then goes in the back and you hear a loud GASP! He staggers back out of the car, tripping and falling flat on his back, and nearly gets his face shot off in response. He slowly gets back to his feet and addresses the unconscious man: “Bund, old chap…” he mutters, shaking like a leaf, “What did you do? You’ve gone too far this time…”
[8/12/2013 11:55:56 AM] Scurvyj: “BRING HIM OUT! NOW!!!” This is punctuated by a few more rounds of machine gun fire. Sisyphus yelps and scrambles back into the vehicle. He starts stammering as he drags a very limp form out of the back seat. You notice this figure, who must be #098, is leaving a bloody smear trail behind him. “Now, listen… I… I’m not the one responsible… oh, James… James, James, James…”
[8/12/2013 11:56:18 AM] Scurvyj: “NOW STEP AWAY!” Sisyphus dutifully does as he’s told, swallowing hard.
[8/12/2013 11:57:29 AM] Scurvyj: The slumped figure of #098 is lying face down on the pavement, and even in the setting sun, against the blacktop, you can see a spreading pool of darkness under his head.
[8/12/2013 11:57:50 AM] Scurvyj: [Okay, I should give you guys a chance to RP reactions and so forth. Also lunchtime. Enjoy!
[8/12/2013 11:58:21 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [Dammit… The suspense!]
[8/12/2013 12:11:25 PM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #963 recoils in horror and nearly loses his lunch all over the front of the Stichcycle XL. “Shit… I’ve seen abstract paintings made with brain matter that looked better.”
[8/12/2013 5:02:21 PM] Scurvyj: [So umm… who’s going to go over there?]
[8/12/2013 7:56:04 PM] Boozlebub: #865 steps out of the harness in the gun section of the StitchCycle and he approaches the figure of #098. He gulps heavily as he approaches to see his former comrade in arms.
[8/12/2013 7:58:53 PM] Boozlebub: [Why not toss another goodly amount of emotional brokenness onto #865.]
[8/12/2013 8:38:46 PM] Scurvyj: As #865 makes his way to #098, you notice Dr. Sisyphus and Radical Ted grow more and more nervous. #865 drops down to one knee and gently rolls #098’s head to the side…
[8/12/2013 8:50:02 PM] Scurvyj: You hear a loud gasp from #865, then suddenly, he’s very, very still. Gently, with a terrifyingly tender, almost maternal quality, he lays #098’s head back on the ground and stands up, his posture jerky, marionette-like.
[8/12/2013 8:55:08 PM] Scurvyj: #003 barks out in his usual commanding tone, “#865!” #865’s sideward glance is completely blank, devoid of any life. “Wha— what is the status of your comrade?”
[8/13/2013 12:31:16 AM] DrRobertson: [Ground beef…]
[8/13/2013 2:32:11 AM] Boozlebub: He… they… Doctor, this will not do at all. This will not do. The blood, every drop spilled returned tenfold, right Doctor? Every. Last. Drop. Look at the mess. All of this mess. Naughty tricksters, making all this mess of a good face. Horrible tricksters, you’re going to make #865 go in the Time Out Pit if things are not put right. (#865 cradles Hopsy the Happy Bunny much like he cradled #098’s head)
[8/13/2013 2:32:55 AM] Boozlebub: BE PROUD OF ME, DOCTOR! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT DOCTOR! I WILL FIX IT, FIX THEM ALL!
[8/13/2013 2:34:17 AM] O’ Foxy: O’ Foxy hopes #87 is fixed first.
[8/13/2013 2:36:19 AM] Boozlebub: With barely a twitch, he holds Hopsy in a more aggressive way, clutching around the rabbit’s body like a vice. He launches towards Dr. Sisyphus. “YOU ARE NOT THE DOCTOR, THE FAKER NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT! NO ONE FAKES THE DOCTOR! BE PROUD, DOCTOR! 865 WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER” He launches towards Dr. Sisyphus, attempting to bowl him over, clubbing the shit out of him with Hopsy the Happy Bunny.
[8/13/2013 2:37:07 AM] Boozlebub: [Here goes nothing… Thematicly I hope I kick the shit out of this roll.]
[8/13/2013 2:41:32 AM] Boozlebub: [Yeah... Not awesome but gonna be interesting. +6-6-5+6+2 so 13. Boxcars... they hate and/or love me]
[8/13/2013 4:59:09 AM] DrRobertson: [as I haven’t said it yet, #347 is heading down to get #87 out of the ravine]
[8/13/2013 5:00:14 AM] DrRobertson: [I assume I can’t even really hear most of this stuff, except for the yelling. I’d be able to deduce #098 is in bad shape, but he could still be alive for all I know, or any of us might know.]
[8/13/2013 6:04:59 AM] Scurvyj: [DrRobertson, I tried to send you a PM, but Skype is giving me the gray circle of death on it.]
[8/13/2013 6:05:49 AM] DrRobertson: [odd. I’ll restart]
[8/13/2013 6:10:21 AM] Scurvyj: [13, are you sure?]
[8/13/2013 6:22:25 AM] Boozlebub: [Math and colds are uneasy bedfellows. 8 is more true.]
[8/13/2013 6:25:06 AM] Scurvyj: [Sorry, man.] “RRRRRRRAGH!!!” #865 runs across the parking lot, Hopsy clutched in his hands and murder in his eyes. Just as he’s about to smash Dr. Sisyphus’ panicked face in, he trips over the unconscious body of Bund, sprawls forward, and conks his head on a concrete barrier. Lights out, #865.
[8/13/2013 6:31:38 AM] DrRobertson: [Ouch!]
[8/13/2013 10:40:50 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus winces sympathetically. “Well, friends, it seems we are at a bit of an impasse. Members of our respective organizations lie heavily wounded in front of us, and immediate medical attention could spell the difference between alacritous recovery,” his face falls here, for dramatic effect, “or shuffling loose the mortal coil. If we were to let bygones be bygones and agree to go our separate ways, we might be able to expedite the recovery of our beloved companions. What say you?” He pauses again. “Shall we put a stop to this?”
[8/13/2013 10:43:07 AM] Scurvyj: #003 actually looks conflicted for a second. It’s clear that he wants to take these punks out, but he also wants to get help for the remaining members of his squad.
[8/13/2013 10:47:20 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: #963 quickly aims his revolver right at Radical Ted’s chest, after noticing him reaching for something in his hair. “You move another inch and it starts all over again.”
[8/13/2013 10:48:20 AM] Scurvyj: “Sorry, sorry,” Ted stammers, “I’ve had an itch on the back of my head for like, the past five minutes, and it’s driving me crazy!”
[8/13/2013 10:49:24 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: He pulls the hammer back and keeps his aim true. “Do forgive me for not beliving you.”
[8/13/2013 10:49:42 AM] Scurvyj: Everyone hears the telltale sound of tires crunching on gravel and engines running softly…
[8/13/2013 10:50:37 AM] Scurvyj: “I left all my weapons in the car, honest!” he says, “I swear on the memory of Nikola Tesla!”
[8/13/2013 10:51:57 AM] Scurvyj: Sisyphus and Ted suddenly look very bug-eyed; it’s clear that something is going down behind all of you.
[8/13/2013 10:54:11 AM] Boozlebub: [Well, Not like there’s anything I can do about it. Sorry, I couldn’t do any more!]
[8/13/2013 10:54:54 AM] Scurvyj: A black van rounds the corner, followed by another, followed by another. The three vans are blocking the road to the parking lot.
[8/13/2013 10:55:12 AM] Scurvyj: Sisyphus and Ted suddenly look hopeful.
[8/13/2013 10:58:02 AM] Boozlebub: [Oh shit. did this just start playing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU]
[8/13/2013 10:58:12 AM] Boozlebub: [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU ]
[8/13/2013 10:58:30 AM] Scurvyj: The doors to the vans open up, almost in unison
[8/13/2013 11:01:07 AM] Scurvyj: #003 turns around, looking very panicked, much to the satisfaction of your enemies. “Ah, fortuitous timing!” Dr. Sisyphus exclaims, with relish. “It appears our backup has arrived.”
[8/13/2013 11:01:23 AM] Scurvyj: “Well, I suppose this would be the end…”
[8/13/2013 11:03:06 AM] Scurvyj: “…if it weren’t for the fact that those shitty conversion vans belong to us.”
[8/13/2013 11:03:26 AM] Scurvyj: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrK0rZj6pes
[8/13/2013 11:03:48 AM] Boozlebub: [BIG DAMN HEROES!!!]
[8/13/2013 11:04:28 AM] Thelonious Alsquatch III: [STITCH CO, FUCK YEAH!]
[8/13/2013 11:05:52 AM] Scurvyj: Suddenly, a swarm of StitchCo minions, resplendent in battered helmets and second-rate weaponry, comes pouring out of the vans, and yes, most of them are stinking drunk. Shouts of “LOCK AND LOAD!” and “GOGOGO!” fill the parking lot, as a motley assortment of firearms are trained on the two assailiants.
[8/13/2013 11:09:39 AM] Scurvyj: “REACH FOR THE SKY!” somebody shouts with drunken bravado
[8/13/2013 11:09:58 AM] Scurvyj: “Dude… umm… they’re already… they’ve already got their hands up,” someone else corrects
[8/13/2013 11:15:43 AM] Scurvyj: You hear the sound of someone getting smacked in the back of the helmet
[8/13/2013 11:17:54 AM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus sighs, “it appears the idea of our release is nothing more than a zephyr to be borne on the wind…”
[8/13/2013 11:18:12 AM] Scurvyj: Ted stops for a second to process that. “We’re hosed, aren’t we?”
[8/13/2013 11:23:28 AM] Scurvyj: There’s now about three dozen additional StitchCo mooks in the parking lot. You also see somebody familiar climbing over the safety railing, probably cursing under his breath as he does so (correct me if you’re not cursing, #347)
[8/13/2013 11:49:55 AM] Scurvyj: [Alright folks, about to head to lunch, then it’s a solid afternoon of teaching, so I won’t be on for a few hours. I’ll leave you all to it. Enjoy!]
[8/13/2013 11:59:50 AM] Mike Gutkoska: Out of the lead van, another faceless, helmeted mook exits. A less than adequate, though well cared for, revolver in his hand, the number #042 emblazoned left chest. He slaps a half empty bottle (emptying steadily still) out of the hand of another mook, who was pointingat the back of another mooks head like a gun. He turns towards the ruckus, and addressed the rest of the stitchco men. "Alright then. Got word of a bit of a tussle. What’s all this then?
[8/13/2013 12:25:43 PM] DrRobertson: [Oh I’m most certainly cursing]
[8/13/2013 12:25:51 PM] DrRobertson: “Guys, we’ve got comp… oh fuck me!” #347 lets out as he crests the ravine, draggin the bruised and batter body of #087, as he uses one arm to support the dead weight he’s slugging and the other to pull himself out of the depths.
[8/13/2013 12:28:10 PM] DrRobertson: #347 stumbles and lurches forwards, all the while mumbling to himself about just what he’ll go through to help out a fellow comrade, well, at least one he is fond of. He closes towards #042, a guy he’s heard of but never really met. Allegedly he’s rather nice, but nice compared to the typical higher ups is really just a diluted form of napalm.
[8/13/2013 12:28:55 PM] DrRobertson: [I’m assuming #042 was loud enough for #347 to hear him on this one]
[8/13/2013 12:30:56 PM] DrRobertson: “Where to begin!” #347 lets out, with all the disdain more than apparent in his voice. “These lot attacked the compound, killed numerous amounts of our men, stole some of our private files, took #098 and #087 here for a joy ride and attributed to their current conditions”
[8/13/2013 12:32:55 PM] DrRobertson: “That, and they’re a bunch of pretentious conniving twats out to make me do more work than I usually have to. Especially that asshole!” he adds nodding towards Dr. Sisyphus, the venomous hatred he has for him coursing through his veins.
[8/13/2013 12:34:16 PM] Scurvyj: “Now sir, simply because I’m a bit of logophile, there’s no need to label me so,” Sisyphus says, clearly hurt.
[8/13/2013 12:34:51 PM] Scurvyj: “You’re a WHAT-ophile?” Ted blurts out, clearly having no idea what Sisyphus is talking about.
[8/13/2013 12:35:23 PM] DrRobertson: “He loves words, granted I do as well, but I try my best not to look down on others about it”
[8/13/2013 12:37:00 PM] DrRobertson: “You know, I had dreams once. I wanted to work in an office, wear a nice suit, have airconditioning and an attractive assistant, stamp shit and get paid $50 to do it in the course of two minutes. Then reality kicked in, and my dreams were crushed by debt. I don’t enjoy doing more work than I have to, and it’s a very bad idea to supply me with work that I hate, which is the manual labour variety”
[8/13/2013 12:37:52 PM] Scurvyj: “#042! Thank you for leaving the retreat and coming here on such short notice,” #003 says in his usual calm but commanding tone. “These three enemy agents,” he indicates, pointing to Dr. Sisyphus, Radical Ted, and the unconscious Jim Bund, “need to be brought in for (cough) questioning. We have three men,” he says, pointing to #087, #098, and #865" who need medical attention, stat."
[8/13/2013 12:38:07 PM] DrRobertson: “You crossed me on this day, and for that, I shall have the flesh from your bones and the marrow therein.” #347 says, while not raising his voice, as his eyes burn with the hatred of a million suns.
[8/13/2013 12:38:50 PM] Scurvyj: Dr. Sisyphus falls silent at #347’s monologue.
[8/13/2013 12:39:15 PM] Scurvyj: [Bravo, DrRobertson!]
[8/13/2013 12:39:52 PM] DrRobertson: [I do my best. I like to think of the last part more as a soliloquy, which is #347 promising to himself that he will be the end of Dr. Sisyphus]
[8/13/2013 12:41:13 PM] DrRobertson: [How old is Radical Ted? I assume he’s implied to be a child, but I’d like clarification]
[8/13/2013 12:41:58 PM] Scurvyj: Three men step forward from the crowd, each with a pair of StitchCuffs, which are really just plastic zip ties with Dr. Stitch’s face on the fastener. A few more pairs produce some Stitch-ers (stretchers) from the back of one of the vans. All of them are awaiting orders from #042
[8/13/2013 12:42:17 PM] Scurvyj: [At first you thought he was a kid, but now you’re starting to think he’s more of an underdeveloped man-child of sorts.]
[8/13/2013 12:42:33 PM] Scurvyj: [Okay, classtime. Keep at it, gents!]
[8/13/2013 12:46:39 PM] DrRobertson: “How old are you, boy?” #347 says while making eye contact with Ted.
[8/13/2013 12:50:27 PM] Mike Gutkoska: #042 takes all this in with an air of no-nonsense, goodnatured, uncaring aloofness. he raises an invisible eyebrow (I assume we wear masks) at #347’s tirade, and gives a bit of a nod at it’s ending. “A strange one, he is. But gumption. Gumption he has. Good, good. You three! Beat the hell out of that one untill he learns to stop picking his nose in public. And you, #577! I said #577, not #757. You jump the gun again and i’ll have your bootstrings, you little twat. #577, get your feild medic training to use and mop these men up, immediately. And then tend to the nose-picker when they’re done cleaning the mud off their boots on his ribs. Right then. Good.”
[8/13/2013 12:52:22 PM] Mike Gutkoska: “A good job you men did taking these three. They’ll get to meet questioning room number 4 before the day is out, i can garentee you that. And i’ll see what i can do about getting you lot an extra ration chit at the base”
[8/13/2013 1:20:31 PM] DrRobertson: “Just patch #087 up and try to salvage #098 if you can. We busted our asses to save them, and it would leave me rather disdainful if it was all in vain.” he says as he helps lay #087 onto the strethcer.
[8/13/2013 1:21:43 PM] DrRobertson: [I assume that it’s fair to say #347 is probably fairly soaked in blood at this point, given #087 broke both his legs and arms, and he dragged him up from the ravine]
[8/13/2013 4:33:00 PM] Scurvyj: Ted stammers, “I’m… I’m 20, sir!”
[8/13/2013 4:33:46 PM] Scurvyj: He sees the three mooks close in on him. “Mommy…” he stammers before the baton-clubbing begins.
[8/13/2013 4:35:12 PM] Scurvyj: The mooks start scrambling around to obey orders. Emergency first aid is given to #087 to immobilize the broken limbs, and to #098 to stop the bleeding. They’re terrified of #042 because he wears his authority well, and of #347 because he uses big words and seems likely to snap on them if they rub him the wrong way
[8/13/2013 4:35:50 PM] Scurvyj: [Oh, and to answer Mike’s earlier question, everyone has standard issue goon helmets that vaguely resemble the Newgrounds helmets, according to Boozlebub, who was the first to weigh in on the headwear issue.]
[8/13/2013 4:37:32 PM] Scurvyj: The StitchCuffs are applied, first to Dr. Sisyphus, who is beginning to realize the degree of uh-oh that he’s about to run into, then to Ted, who’s a broken mess by the time they’re through with him (even a crappy Martial Arts score works fine against an immobile target). Bund is StitchCuffed as well, but he doesn’t seem all that conscious just yet.
[8/13/2013 5:34:29 PM] Scurvyj: #865, your “medical treatment” consists of a shot that’s one part Cousin Jeb’s Rootin’ Tootin’ Baby-Makin’ Whiskey and one part Lil’ Timmy’s Gob-Scaldin’ Hot Sauce (so good, you’ll kick your mama in the shins!)
[8/13/2013 5:35:24 PM | Edited 5:35:29 PM] Scurvyj: [And yeah, you’re pretty well coated with blood alright, which adds to the terror]
[8/13/2013 7:13:17 PM] Boozlebub: “Hu…huh? HOT HOT HOT HOT!” #865’s eyes bolt open as surprised as ever, still clutching Hopsy. Sure, now it more of a way that a scared child clings to his security blanket, but still. He goes slightly slack as his eyes flit about and he counts the number of other minions. “Thi…This mean we won?”
[8/13/2013 8:29:52 PM] DrRobertson: “For now” #347 says in a rather morose tone
[8/13/2013 11:04:43 PM] Scurvyj: “Your truculent band of ruffians may have perendinated your company’s inevitable demise,” Dr. Sisyphus shouts, as a group of mooks makes ready to stuff him in one of the vans, “but the portents have marked this caesura as but a transitory vicissitude!”
[8/13/2013 11:05:58 PM] Scurvyj: One of the mooks rolls his eyes and busts him in the mouth before shoving him in the back of one of the vans. Radical Ted goes into another, practically sobbing, and Bund’s unconscious form is stuffed into the third
[8/13/2013 11:06:13 PM] Scurvyj: [Anything else you guys wanna wrap up before we star wipe back to HQ?]
[8/13/2013 11:34:23 PM] Mike Gutkoska: #042 keeps a careful eye on the doctor as he’s stuffed, slightly dazzled by the apparently unexpected fisting his jaw recieved, into the van, ensuring that his feet are stitchtied to the slightly rusty though still relatively strong looking rings beneath the steel shelf seating, and his hands are strung up above his head by a handy chain. The other two didnt appear to be smart or concious enough to cause problems. The rings were situated far back enough and just enough apart to force the legs and knees into an awkward and probably progressively more painful position as the ride went on, ensuring the doctor would “enjoy” his ride thoroughly. “Mind those big bumps, Dr. what was it? Sissy-face? Nevermind, I don’t care.” He slams the door after the mooks filed in and turns to face the ones remaining from the battle.
[8/13/2013 11:37:56 PM | Edited 11:40:45 PM] Mike Gutkoska: He snaps off a salute, Probably something he’d practiced in the mirror for hours, to #003 and motions to the vans with the others. “Those of you who haven’t managed to destroy your transportation are welcome to meet us back at base. The rest of you will please find seating in one of the Stitch-Mobile brand Stitch-Vans. You’ll be debreifed back at base. I expect any lost or damaged uniform or weapons claimes to be filed in triplicate by the morning.” Not that it would do any good.
[8/14/2013 3:29:29 AM] DrRobertson: “Let’s go home, #865” #347 says as he hops onto the Stitchycle™ and revs the engine “it’s been one hell of a day”.
[8/14/2013 3:31:58 AM] Boozlebub: #865 finds his way to the gunner’s seat of the StitchCycle and straps himself in, making sure Hopsy the Happy Bunny is well secured as well. “Yeah. Let’s go #347.” #865 is still somewhat giving a thousand meter stare, still not in the best shape.
[8/14/2013 4:45:30 AM] DrRobertson: “hey #865… you did amazing today. I’m certain you’ve earned a seat at the big boy table, and a stack of ‘get out of Time-out Room’ cards” #347 says, as he puts on his sunglasses and drives off into the setting sun.
[8/14/2013 8:16:43 AM] Scurvyj: [Star wipe, aaaaand we’re out.]